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The more things change the more they stay same. That was old school, miserable, Bears football on repeat since the beginning of time. Happy with the ending, but wish the plot was different. We knew there would be bumps in the road for the offense. This wasn’t a speed bump though. This was like backing up over the spikes leaving a rental car parking garage. Why wasn’t Cole Kmet involved, especially after Keenan Allen seeming tweaked a muscle?...

Wellllll, that fucking stunk. That stunk a lot. Stunk on ice, stunk in space, stunk everywhere something can stink. Out played, out coached, out scored. Ron’s horrendous drafting is obviously clear in the secondary which got torched on basically every single play. We have no WR help for McLaurin whatsoever and the Oline is shaky at best. It’s going to be a tough rebuild when every position needs an upgrade....

There’s a reason why football is king in America. And that’s precisely because of moments like this morning. The opening Sunday of the season. In Dallas you have Dak Prescott getting a record breaking $240 million contract extension. All within the hour you had 4 major headlines hit the newswire. But the same hour that someone became the highest paid player in league history? All while we officially open up a quarterback controversy in Pittsburgh?...

I CALLED IT!! TYREEK HILL HANDS BEHIND THE BACK PUT EM IN HANDCUFFS CELEBRATION!!! What a fucking play from the best wide receiver in the NFL and an even better celebration.

The NFL season is off to an insane start- what the fuck is going on!? As a side note I am I taking him to score a touchdown if he does play. Just an insane scene to see on your way to the game.

Taylor Fritz is three sets away from breaking a 21 year long curse and conquering destiny. Just getting to this point is an accomplishment in its self, no doubt. On Sunday he’ll become the first American man in a grand slam final since 2009. While it’s incredibly brutal for Frances Tiafoe, this has been a long time coming for Fritz. Finally we get the break through after years of struggles to go deep in slams....

Stool Scenes 471 - On this week’s episode of Stool Scenes, John Rich eats dog s**t, behind the scenes of the LARPing video and more. Check out Barstool Sports for more: http://www.barstoolsports.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/barstoolsports Twitter: https://twitter.com/barstoolsports Instagram: http://instagram.com/barstoolsports 00:00 Intro 00:28 John Rich Eats S**t 09:24 LARPing BTS 15:40 Outro

Ain’t the world great? When it boils down to it, there is one thing that truly brings us all together. To put it as plainly and delicately as possible, boobs freakin' rock. They rock so hard. Vince McMahon with the WWE? Howard Stern, the king of all media? Dave Portnoy, pizza reviewer? At the end of the day, the world’s economy is based on healthy racks. And it’s super impressive because we live in a time where porn is free....

September 6th will always be a holiday in Baltimore, a few special things happened on this particular date. A fun way for #8 to celebrate his milestone day and you know the fans loved it. He took pictures, signed autographs, even got a friendship bracelet upon entering the splash zone. But that wasn’t the only cool thing that Cal did in the Bird Bath… He ran into Orioles Jesus himself....

What would the tattoo look like? Will it be the Indiana Fever Logo? The WNBA championship trophy? Rushmore like image of Caitlin Clark, Kelsey Mitchell, Aliyah Boston, and Lexie Hulls? Fever fans know ball. These losers don’t understand the first thing about greatness, they don’t care about competition. Hopefully the winning continues for the Fever and Dave gets a tattoo. At the very least we need the bet to hit so Stu Feiner gets an Angel Reese tattoo....

Voam aguias voam, cadelas. Well, at least after the 1st quarter. Saquon with a casualhat trickin his debut. Overall, a nice victory in the Southern Hemisphere. Now let’s never fucking do it again.

So much for that. I’m stunned by this result, though I guess I probably shouldn’t be. Maybe this is just something that’s going to keep happening to Notre Dame.

I’ll be honest - I wasn’t the biggest Costco Guys guy until earlier this week. Are they a bit bizarre? They’re a family who is famous for going to Costco and giving things “BOOMS”. I ain’t mad at em, though! Look at this poor sucker’s eyeball! If you thought that guy’s name was Larry McDonald, I’d say, “Zhu Rong”. (His name is Zhu Rong.)