I just self-administered a cortisone shot to my hands which will allow me to absorb the pain.
If you missed yesterday’s AL edition, have at it here.
Let’s dive in…
Once again, all odds are powered by our good friends at Draft Kings.
On paper the Phillies are loaded with a powerful lineup and fearsome rotation.
Contend:The Phillies are seeking revenge for how their postseason fell apart last year.
The rotation is plenty lethal itself and deep as hell even with Ranger Suarez sidelined to start.
I’m not positive we see Andrew Painter this year, but he comes up look out.
That large man is a monster in waiting.
Congrats to him on dating ESPN’s Erin Dolan by the way.
Maybe their relationship being public will unlock him even more.
It doesn’t help that the Braves and Mets will be neck and neck with them all year long.
Health of their aging players would be a concern.
Spencer Strider’s return from TJ surgery is looming and boy does he look good right now.
Ronnie Acuna should be back around May and will only make this offense even scarier.
Contend:The talent on this roster is immense and should give teams issues constantly throughout the season.
It’s a boring answer, but it’s fairly self explanatory.
Keep an eye on rookie catcher Drake Baldwin adding even more depth to this ridiculous lineup.
Can you really count on Sale to stay healthy again?
If he goes down you’re putting more and more pressure on Strider to hold up.
New York Mets (+1200, 90.5)
Everyone is talking about the Mets and for good reason.
Steve Cohen went out and got his franchise player in Juan Soto.
Fans will learn rather quickly how much easier that will make the rest of the lineup flow.
The Mets offense in 2024 was already potent as can be.
Hell, that offense nearly carried them to the World Series by itself.
Contend:The Lindor-Soto-Alonso trio at the top destroys pitching staffs.
Mark Vientos continues his blistering 2nd half and becomes one of the best young bats in the game.
The walks become limited somehow and don’t become an issue.
They’ll need Sean Manaea to come back from his oblique injury and not have any setbacks.
The thing is Cohen is the perfect owner to be aggressive like that.
They’re in really good shape.
I’d be concerned how his arm holds up with a full starter’s work load.
This guy has gone his whole big league career as a reliever throwing 60ish innings a year.
How is he going to look in the 2nd half of the season?
My guess is very tired.
Another cause for concern?
It was also down last year so I’m not sure this is just a Spring Training thing.
Pitching will doom the Mets if they’re to struggle.
Senga has thrown 5.1 innings since the end of the 2023 season.
In between him and Holmes you’re looking at Megill, Canning, and David Peterson until Manaea returns.
I wouldn’t count on anything from Frankie Montas either.
I have no doubts the offense will be elite, but the pitching has big question marks.
James Wood, Dylan Crews, and CJ Abrams can light up your eyes with their talent.
There’s not enough here to be a Cinderella team by any means so don’t get too excited.
Brad Lord’s story is great though.
Contend:The National League Wild Card race would have to get really bleak.
Like what we’re currently seeing out of the Eastern Conference play-in scenario with basketball.
That’s all you’re getting.
Let’s play a fun game, which part of the team is worse, the pitching?
It’s genuinely repulsive to look at and I don’t wish to talk about it anymore.
The National Guard should be involved here.
Contend: Nuclear war would have to break out in the US, but Miami avoids the blasts somehow.
Fail:The only interesting part here is if they finish worse than the White Sox.
That lineup might do the trick.
Top prospect (13th overall) Matt Shaw made the team out of Spring Training as well.
There’s a lot to like here, especially in a division that’s pretty much up for grabs.
Steele, Shota, and Jamo can give you a pretty damn good 1-2-3 in the rotation.
I imagine they’ll be everyone’s sexy pick to win the division.
As great as Tucker is, he’s kinda the only elite offensive option they have offensively.
Teams could choose to pitch around him and live with anyone else hurting them.
Milwaukee Brewers (+5000, 83.5)
The boring Brewers did a whole lot of nothing this offseason.
Fresh off their stunning wild card series loss to the Mets, the team has kinda hit the skids.
Willy Adames and Devin Williams are gone.
They’re kinda just hoping their young guys take over and the pitching just finds a way.
That being said if the Brewers are going to be a factor then their youth came to play.
Jackson Chourio, Garret Mitchell, Brice Turang, and Sal Frelick need to all be impact players.
He’s had a great Spring and feels healthy again.
Also good luck replacing Devin Williams as your closer.
Are they ready to win?
That’s another story.
But Hunter Greene, Elly De La Cruz and Matt McLain is a really good trio to build around.
Hunter Greene needs to stay healthy and continue to shove.
The Brady Singer acquisition could be a sneaky good one especially since Jonathan India was replaceable in the lineup.
Maybe buy at the deadline for once and give your fans something to be excited about.
Gotta stay in the race til then to make that happen though.
Fail:The pitching most likely dooms them here.
St. Louis Cardinals (+12000, 76.5)
Want to hear something hilarious?
Nolan Arenado is still on the Cardinals.
How that’s possible I have no idea.
Obviously the Cards didn’t add anyone of significance this offseason.
If it were up to them they’d have no veterans left on the team.
What happened to this franchise?
What the fuck are they doing?
Bob Nutting wants nothing to do with that.
The organization outright refuses to add any significant offensive help to this team.
Contend:Jared Jones' elbow situation doesn’t get worse and we see him return sometime in June.
Fail:Bob Nutting is a terrorist.
Just keep Skenes healthy is all I beg.
Hell, they’re already 2-0 after the two Japan games.
Their rotation consists of Blake Snell, Yamamoto, Roki Sasaski, Tyler Glasnow, and Dustin May.
Oh, and Shohei Ohtani is probably going to start pitching in May as if they needed anything else.
I’m just glad the Yankees aren’t in the NL.
It’s going to be historic.
It would be stunning if they don’t have the division wrapped up by mid-August.
Mookie and Freddie were helping him cover the whole time so they go to jail as well.
Roki and Yamamoto leave the team in disgust and head back to Japan.
The Dodgers barely miss the playoffs after retooling at the deadline falls just short.
Ketel Marte, Corbin Carroll, Eugenio Suarez, Gurriel Jr., Jake McCarthy.
These guys all hit.
Yes they did lose Christian Walker and Joc Pederson, but they gain Josh Naylor.
Contend:The Snakes should be fighting hard for a wild card spot all year.
Besides the Dodgers there’s a chance this is the best starting rotation in the NL.
Need to get Ginkel and Graveman online and off the IL, but there’s so much pitching here.
San Diego Padres (+2800, 85.5)
Who the hell knows with this Padres team?
At any given moment they could trade Dylan Cease, Michael King, and Luis Arraez.
Jackson Merrill is incredible and only going to get better.
Tatis is off the roids and the motorcycles, poised to explode and be an MVP candidate.
Tatis finishes runner up for MVP and Michael King wins the Cy Young.
There’s a big ceiling for this team.
All offseason they flirted with trading big pieces in an effort to lower their payroll.
Those are not good signs for the prosperity of a baseball team.
Shortstop Willy Adames come on down!
Unfortunately the rest of the lineup is pretty meh.
What they get out of Verlander will be fascinating.
Contend:Repeating myself here, but that rotation needs to dominate from the jump.
Verlander has to avoid injury at 42 years old and find himself once more.
Maybe in a healthy season Jung Hoo Lee turns some heads and becomes a fun, exciting piece.
Fail:I worry about the bottom half of the lineup being automatic outs.
80 wins feels like the perfect number for this team.
They’re the definition of mid.
Colorado Rockies (58.5, +50000)
The Rockies might as well be money laundering at this point.
They’re a shell company and certainly not a Major League Baseball team.
What is any of this?
Tovar is fun and young, but there’s not enough of him.
Let all of these guys go and allow them to explore the rest of the league.
Contend:Honestly just start cheating.
No way anyone is going to care either way.
There’s honestly nothing to lose.
Fail:Just finish better than the White Sox and Marlins and call it a season.
And that’s it for the National League.
Hope you enjoyed some of it.
Will it eventually rip my heart out?
No doubt about it, but that’s the fun of it all.
Here’s Jennifer Aniston to take us into first pitch
