I dont know what your definition of expert is, but Ive been scoped eight times.
So, even though that may not make me an expert on the procedure…
I dont mind saving that title for the doctors who perform it…
I do think my experience gives me enough license to at least talk a friend through his first time.
First off, dont even think to yourself,Lose my anal virginity?
Large, Ive had multiple fingers shoved up there in the past.
Be it from a physician checking my prostate, or maybe an overly-aggressive date… Well…
But in a more romantic manner.
According to your latest tweet, it looks like you carbo-loaded the day before your fast and your laxatives.
That did not do you any favors.
The laxatives are high-powered and extremely effective, but youve now given them even more work to do.
Not a huge deal, but maybe ease into this process next time with more roughage.
My next point is this… Propofol is awesome.
On top of knocking you out gently, it also stimulates dopamine.
So on top of having a great nap, youre also going to feel an overwhelming sense of euphoria…
I like to call it theVelvet Hammerbecause it hits hard but you dont mind because it feels so good.
The procedure itself is almost too easy…
The only pain you will feel will be when the nurse attaches the IV.
But once that pipeline is installed, the rest is gravy.
Oh… And recovery is fucking WEIRD.
Ive always had work done during my scopes…
Here’s something I never put on my resume- My colon was/is riddled with polyps.
And thats about it, Dave.
Maybe now that they see Miss Peaches dad doing it, it might force their hand.
Get well soon, boss.
-Large
PS Here’s a picture of the colonoscope they will use to snake your drain…
Happy trails, my captain.
-L
PPS There’s a brand new episode ofTwisted Historythat just dropped outlining US Presidential assassinations and assassination attempts…
