I’m thinking at bare minimum, this was a 10 minute ordeal.
A 10 minute delay at the wrong time can be catastrophic.
He could have caused missed job interviews.
Late arrivals to work shifts that resulted in firings.
Missed flights that forced people to buy another $500 plane ticket.
But I was afraid people would take it too literal.
it’s possible for you to’t even be hyperbolic on the internet anymore.
Especially not in headlines.
But his middle-of-the-interstate music video stunt did cause pain & suffering for hundreds, if not thousands of people.
But a strong man could dig himself out of that hole.
So it’s only fair we give this guy a chance to dig himself out as well.
A trap from one of the 10 Saw movies.
It’s not a death sentence.
He can survive if he wants to.
Jigsaw was all about punishing those who’ve lived unappreciative, self-serving lives.
Lives in which they didn’t consider how their actions affected others.
According to an article on The Ringer, there are 73 total traps to choose from.
The only difficult part here is choosing which Saw trap best fits the crime.
Jigsaw’s traps are always apropos for his victims.
This is man who’s actively contributing to never-ending drug crisis in our country.
But regardless, it’s all part of a bigger problem.
At best he’s a mouthpiece for the wrong side of the war on drugs.
Some might say that’s even worse.
Overdoes made possible by men like him who propagate such filth.
Does he “technically” rap about guns in this brief snippet?
He says he robbed a guy.
Then proceeded to use the word “bullet” in the same sentence.
I think that counts.
And what about other songs?
Does he make more direct gun references in his raps outside of traffic?
I would have no way of knowing.
His name is not directly attached to this video.
I refuse to reward it any further by learning his name.
Option #3: Pig Vat
I mean, look at the guy.
He’s got a classic case of pig face.
You expect the first word out of his mouth to be “oink”.
He looks like he might take his meals from a trough.
The pig vat trap is only fitting.
Whoever is doing the Jigsaw voice over the loudspeaker can make plenty of pig puns.
“Stopping traffic for money = greedy pig”.
Things of that nature.
With the pig vat trap, he will be relying on someone else to save him.
We’ll have to find something that means a lot to his friend and use that against him.
Does he truly believe he’s talented enough to be a meal ticket to a better life?
Or will he just let him die and get a job in construction?
We’ll find out.
Option #4: Subway Tongue Trap
Did you know there was a Saw moving starring Chris Rock?
Spiral: From The Book of Saw.
It hit theaters in 2021.
I must have missed that one.
Samuel L. Jackson was in it too.
The Samuel L. Jackson part makes sense.
Samuel L. Jackson says yes to everything.
But I would never have expected Chris Rock to do a Saw movie.
I guess Covid hit comedians pretty hard.
Anyways, this is the ideal trap for any rapping traffic terrorist.
To survive is simple.
Kick the stool out from underneath you.
By doing so, you’ll fall to the ground, and you could crawl to safety.
But it will also rip out your tongue.
It’s also caused minor inconveniences for thousands of I-20 commuters.
Is life worth living if you might’t say the n-word in traffic?
Live tongueless or die.
The choice is yours."
Being completely incomprehensible has never stopped a rapper from making it before.
Becoming the first ever tongueless rapper could be a nice gimmick.
It would probably be the thing that launches him to stardom.
This trap could end up being a net positive for him.
Well actually… that analogy isn’t quite fair.
The man in the Saw trap at least had the option of going somewhere.
The people stuck in traffic didn’t have that option.
But still… it’s as appropriate of a trap as any.
DISCAIMER:I do not actually advocate for putting people in Saw traps.
