It’s been just about a year now that the Celebrity Coupling From Which There is No Escape began.
That was 12 long, painful, insufferable months ago.
They’ve been worse than ubiquitous.
They’ve been living the best lives of anyone on the planet.
Everything Taylor and Travis Kelce have touched has turned toUnobtanium.
They’ve put all us normies to shame.
They haven’t made a mistake.
Been anything other than perfectly perfect in a perfect way.
That is, until now:
By now, every schoolkid knows Kelce’s numbers through three games.
Eight catches for 69 yards and no touchdowns.
Basically amounting to a good half for him in any of the previous 10 seasons.
There could be a whole host of reasons for this shocking drop off in production.
Andy Reid might be adjusting his scheme.
Patrick Mahomes is blaming double teams.
It’s been tried before.
And the lines form the outline of the most celebrated pop star in the English-speaking world.
Maybe its the Taylor Swift, I dont know, says McShay.
That hes been partying all offseason?
Hes been jet-setting around with the most famous person, probably in the entire world.
And everyones like, We gotta get him the ball.
Why isnt he part of the offense?
The defense is double-covering (him).
McShay’s lips to the football gods' ears.
c’mon, let this be so.
Not just a slump.
Not just running into a couple of good defensive game plans.
Let this be the Shameless Attention Whore Lifestyle catching up with Kelce at last.
If we’ve learned anything from celebrity documentaries, it’s that fame comes at a terrible price.
In fact, that is the defining point of every, single one of those shows.
Of course, putting it in these terms is sort of taking the coward’s way out.
This could all be very much about Taylor herself.
She certainly wouldn’t be the first girlfriend who ruined a guy.
We all know someone who started dating someone and it destroyed him.
I just hope this turns out to be the case.
