That’s how you know you’ve made it folks.
Once you’ve been Barbiefied, there’s really nothing left to accomplish.
To become a Barbie is to join an exclusive club.
Only the biggest movers and shakers about society are rewarded with a Mattel branded plastic replica of themselves.
I’ve never owned a Barbie myself.
Anybody who tells you I did is a liar.
I played with trucks.
But that’s the whole thing with Barbies right?
You take off their pants and they’re all smooth down there.
No-penis LeBron is gonna go viral.
It’s only a matter of time.
Which has to be huge news for the girl Barbies of the world.
And devastating news for Ken.
I guess considering all their crotches are equally smooth, maybe he still has a fighting chance.
But I gotta think LeBron still has a good inch on him height wise.
His facial hair is perfectly manicured.
He’s wearing his finest generic varsity jacket and self-branded shoes.
And look at those eyes on Barbie LeBron.
They’re downright stunning.
Is he wearing mascara?
It’s like they’re piecing directly into my heart.
God Ken is so fucked.
As vain as Barbie is, Ken doesn’t stand a chance.
Congratulations on the Barbie LeBron.
You’ve finally made it.
