The NBA trade deadline festivities have been an absolute blockbuster.
And, of course, Luka Doncic and Anthony Davis breaking the seal on it all.
Then it’s harder to forget about them.
But you know what, Dennis?
It could be worse.
At least you didn’t buy a 15-million dollar house.
Then maybe we’d have some sympathy.
You moved twice in a 52-day span?
That’s nothing, my man.
Many a trade glue guy has had it worse.
We’ll go in order of miles moved.
And same day trades don’t count.
We’re talking presumed miles flown.
Let’s get to it.
First up we got Chucky Brown.
3,450 miles
It must have been scary to find out you’ve been traded from Houston in January.
Especially when you got shipped out of Chicago that last October.
Which was the case.
No doubt Chucky was counting his lucky stars to miss the brutal Chicago Winter.
And findgin out he was going to LA must have calmed his nerves.
He would eventually get traded again to Indiana several years later before getting waived a year ago.
3,799 miles
No man has been traded more in NBA history than our guy Trevor Ariza.
11 total trades in his career which included a tough November of 2020.
Eleven trades is crazy.
But I’ll always remember him as a Laker in the Kobe Bryant days.
5,505 Miles
There is it.
The Bol Bol Triangle.
Starting in Denver, Bol was shipped for a nine-day stay in Detroit.
Except he was never officially traded because he failed his physical.
Assuming that’s correct, that means he would have to take a flight of shame back to Denver.
Turns out, Boston must have some shitty doctors.
Pour one out for Quinton Richardson.
And this span from June 25 to August 13, 2009 was the roughest stretch you could imagine.
Here’s what teams told him he was worth:
Matt Barnes.
Then Jeremy Lamb (never heard of him).
All on the same day.
All of this to say - things aren’t that bad Dennis Schroder.
It could be a lot worse.
So just enjoy the ride of being an NBA trade glue guy.
Literally, enjoy the ride.
