Here are your sad stats for Week 13.
Guy Chamberlain leads the way.
If you don’t who that is go ahead and ask your grandfather to ask his dead grandfather.
Anyway, I’m excited this is the last Matt Eberflus graph I should ever have to make.
Maybe he’ll find his way back as a defensive coordinator.
Unless that team is the Bears.
But only for 3.5 years.
Then we’ll figure it out.
105 years of Chicago Bears history has seen one head coach fired midseason.
Even so, this isn’t all on him.
Oh yeah - and there’s this…
I think there’s a way they can start to improve on this.
The first step is realizing this is an actual problem.
This is a weak football team in the cold.
Having a quarterback who grew up in Hawaii and played college ball in Alabama doesn’t exactly help.
Dip in for 30 seconds at a nice 43 degrees or so between drills.
Yes, take off your pads and clothes first.
After you get out that is.
- Rent a liquor store freezer to practice in.
Gonna be a tight squeeze, but you gotta get the blood acclimated somehow.
Maybe just do tackling drills in there.
Justin Tucker is done.
At least for this season.
This doesn’t necessarily mean cutting Tucker if you think whatever is going on is transitory.
For the record this is sad for the Jets who let this happen.
But how about it?
Let’s run some rumblin', bumblin' big man on the run stats!
340 lbs., this guy.
But that’s not the longest touchdown by a trey 100.
But at just 265, he doesn’t officially qualify as a trey 100.
So here’s the thing.
I noticed Sunday that every time the Bengals scored, the Steelers inevitably scored right after.
The first three touchdowns the Bengals scored were answered with touchdowns by the Steelers Sunday.
For every action…you get it.
The Bengals scored 39 touchdowns this season.
They’ve done so meeting either A or B an astounding 29 of those times.
14 on the drive after they scored and 15 after being scored upon.
Washington is next with 26 followed by Baltimore with 21.
These Bengals are just barely ever able to consolidate a break.
This is Joe Burrow’s prime.
It’s not fading yet, but it’s being wasted.
Every MVP caliber touchdown pass or drive he puts together is going to be meaningless.
Even that incredible touchdown drive in the Chargers game to bring them all the way back.
I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Starved of food and extracted of every fluid in every gland through Pavlovian torture.
See you all next week.
@Stathole
Catch up on last week’s sad stats:
