Welcome to the fall everyone.
And not just to the 4/5ths of the Bears offensive line pictured above.
I do have some good news to report for many sad NFL fans out there.
To channel my inner Ryen Russillo - Are you serious??
When big favorites lose, that means the shitty teams they played won.
So - for many reading - your bum ass team skirted through somehow.
The wound cuts deep.
Which is what brings you to this blog once again.
Here are your sad NFL stats for Week 3.
The Bears are 10/68 on second down - by far last in the league as illustrated above.
Things don’t get much better on third down either - where they rank 22nd at 34%.
As a fan I can’t imagine a more blood boiling offense to have to root for.
And there’s nothing like a good #2 routine.
It’s just unbelievable how bad they suck with Deshaun Watson.
And for the record, the Browns are 24th in the league on 2nd down.
Looking across downs 1-3, it does appear that the Browns have outdone Chicago overall in offensive ineptitude.
The Bears best down of the three is third down, where they rank 22nd.
So the Browns out bad Chicago by a pinch.
Don’t forget to flush.
Introducing a new stat: Sad Hail Mary
Improper Noun.
Well that is if you count the Sad Hail Mary.
Which you absolutely have to.
So at least we have that going for us.
As a Bears fan, I wouldn’t wish this hell on anyone.
You’d think the Sad Hail Mary would happen to better teams capable of completing such a pass.
Just another unlucky fluke, I guess.
The Colts are BAD.
But that’s where things are after the Texans got plastered by Sam Darnold.
Just an unreal story the Vikings are.
I can’t even say I think they’re frauds either.
This isn’t the 2022 team that was so fun to follow in the point differential department.
They are just good.
Usually this means good things as it’s good to spread the ball around and working the offense.
Turns out that is indeed a good sign as the other eleven teams went 8-3.
But this dismal Dallas distribution makes it 8-4.
Sad Stat #8 - The Bengals punted zero times and had zero turnovers and still lost
Tough.
Well, aside from a turnover on downs.
Do I even need to tell you who they were playing?
The Chiefs really are just inevitable.
That’s it for Week 3.
Give me a follow below and tip me off on any sad stats you see this Sunday.
