Welcome Island of misfit fans.
Here are your sad stats for Week 15.
Let’s start with our guy, T’Vondre Sweat.
Dude looked like he was born to spin up the ball.
Like someone took Derrick Henry in Madden and customized the wight to max and kept the stats the same.
That’s the only way to describe what you see in the clip above.
Looking into the numbers here, I have this as the heaviest player to ever carry the ball.
Meaning - anyone that gained any yardage.
So perhaps there was someone fatter that fell on a ball, but never advanced it.
five yards in 1994.
So Sweat beat him by one Pardon My Cheesesteak.
Sweat wasn’t the only big man doing big things Sunday.
Dan Skipper of the Lions took all 330 big ones into the endzone for the Lions.
That means Jonah Williams at 312 lbs.
was only the second largest man to score a touchdown this week.
So yeah - big day for the big man.
Go ahead and celebrate big men!
Always welcome sad fans with sad angles for the sad blog.
Five years to be exact.
So while it was fun while it lasted, the crash always gets you.
But here’s the surprising thing when digging into this stat.
The Patriots have the longest 80+ yard touchdown drought in the NFL.
Not since Brady to Aaron Dobson for 81-yard score all the way back in Week 9, 2013.
Then the Packers are shockingly next (Week 2, 2014).
Just a weird stat.
You’d think Tom and Aaron would have had longer bombs since then.
It get’s worse.
I ran it for a minimum of 19 dropbacks, which puts Howell fifth worst since 1999.
Long live Spergon Wynn’s -18 yards on 21 dropbacks back in Week 14, 2000.
That would be the 13,702nd place finish in this stat.
The fact that the Steelers never got the ball back was just an extra twist of the knife.
But who would have thought the Steelers wouldn’t have gotten the ball back at all?
I will give Tomlin this.
It’s actually only one of five if you count overtime drives.
The Patriots won 35-7 in a game they had just two second half drives???
No wonder conspiracy has forever surrounded this franchise.
That was their entire third second half drive.
The play logs called it a fumble since it’s not a forward pass.
But these are the types of thoughts we think here on the Island of Misfit Fans.
Honorable mention to Jonathan Taylor and Jordan Battle for giving up a double-dose of DeSean Jacksoning this week.
I actually have a take on this.
I think this is on NFL coaches.
How many times do we see players celebrate before entering the end zone and nothing bad happens?
Like, every week over and over again.
I’m guessing none of them got any earful from the coaches for risking doing the same dumb shit.
So if there’s anyone to blame for these on Sunday it’s Shane Steichen and Zac Taylor.
That’s it for this week.
Sure, there are teams with worse records.
But their ability to shit all over themselves remains alive.
Caleb Williams has been ruined.
For this year anyway.
I think it’s officially time to consider picking a new team.
Maybe then the Bears will turn their life around and I can come back.
Standard thought process for someone one month away from closing on a divorce.
See you all next week.
Plenty of coal still left to be handed out.
@Stathole
Catch up on last week’s NFL sad stats:
