Today is Cyber Monday.
The last day of Barstool Sports employees shoving our 20% off the entire store sale down your throats.
There’s a lot of pretty cool merch in there.
Items that live deep within store.barstoolsports.com and don’t get the shine they rightfully deserve.
But items that exist nonetheless.
I don’t have access to our sales figures, or social media numbers.
Gifts that our merch team are dying to mail to your home in exchange for U.S. currency.
Consider purchasing thisMillion Dollaz Worth of Game pint glassfor the low, low price of $12.00 USD.
It’s a cold winter evening.
You and you’re loved ones are spending Christmas at your log cabin condo in Vail, Colorado.
What about these limited edition Pardon My Take ping pong lottery balls?
“Why are these balls numbered?
Are they from a set or something?”
“Yes they are.
Have you heard of Pardon My Take?”
“Is that the Barstool Sports podcast with Big Cat and PFT Commenter?
““Yes exactly.”
“So what do these numbers mean?”
““So these are from the machine.
““They’re replicas”
“Oh I see.
Haha look they have number 69.”
“Lol I know right.
““So are there 100 balls?”
“In their actual machine there are, but the pack I bought only came with 6.
““Ok got it.
Yeah I guess nobody needs 100 beer pong balls.
That’s way too many.”
6 balls is fine.”
But even if you’re not, perhaps you know someone who is?
Perhaps that person is a girl with hair that she sometimes puts in a clip?
Even if she’s not a fan of the podcast, it’s still a fully functioning hair clip.
It also might be appropriate for someone who has a wedding coming up.
I’m not really sure how.
Maybe the bride-to-be could gift the hair clips to her bridesmaids for them to wear while getting ready?
Maybe that’s who these clips are designed for?
That might make sense.
Do you have a dog who likes to chew on toys?
I once brought a dog toy home from the office and presented by two dogs with it.
It was a Barstool Chicago hot dog that had some sort of jingly metal ball inside.
My dogs immediately started fighting over it in a pretty viscous way.
I’d never seen them go at each other like that before.
It came out of nowhere.
We had separate them and everything.
Luckily nobody was hurt, but it was pretty scary.
I have to assume that means it was a fucking awesome toy.
The particular toy that my dogs loved so much they nearly killed each other over isn’t available anymore.
But the car stick dog toy is.
Maybe it’s made by the same dog toy company.
you’re able to never have too many pairs of gloves.
No clue where they went.
I already need more.
Are you a fan of Barstool Sports?
But more specifically, are you a fan of the 63 year old man who screams about eating ass?
Do you want the world to know it?
Unless you’re gay yourself.
Do you think there are any lesbian Stu Feiner fans out there?
Really doesn’t seem like his demographic, but there’s probably a few.
If that’s you, then in your case, cunnilingus would be extremely gay.
Buy the flag either way.
Barstool Spots Cyber Monday runs through tonight.
The last day to get 20% off in the Barstool Store.
The money money you spend the more money you save.
This could be your last chance.
You could always die before next Christmas
