Vesuvius-temperature, molten lava take to emerge from the aftermath.
Forget the infinite crises we face.
Multiple conflicts ready to upgrade to WWIII at a moment’s notice.
The thing that may very well swing an election that appears too close to call.
And that is, the two Vice Presidential candidates' facial features.
That can be positive to some, reading as strength and competence.
But to others, especially women, it can be negative, conveying aggression and opposition to feminist ideals.
When Walz felt especially passionate about something, hed open his eyes wide as saucers.
Early humans would have made such facial gestures to communicate strong emotions, like danger is close.
For Walz, it gave extra weight to his feelings and held our gaze.
Far be it for any of us to question a federal agent who presumably specializes in these things.
So who are we to argue?
Beards are toxic masculinity in hair form.
“Conveying aggression and opposition to feminist ideals.”
Take a month or two off from shaving an you might as well be Andrew Tate.
You’ve already committed a hate crime.
And forcing women into sex work against their will can’t be far behind.
That soup catcher you’ve grown might as well be a court-ordered ankle bracelet, misogynist.
But going all bug eyes?
That’s love, I guess.
It’s warning people of danger or something.
“I told Gov.
Walz his orbicularis oculi muscle was working in concert with the corrugator and frontalis muscles.
“Maybe that’s why we all love Steve Buscemi.
So there you have it.
Takethat, all you guys with enough testosterone to create thick lustrous growth!
You might think you’re more manly that those of us who can’t.
Politico and the FBI say so.
This last month before the election is going to be wild.
