(Atradition unlike any other.
Iattempted to revive it a few years back,but it’s gotten harder and harder every year.
It was basically the cliffs notes we could copy our tests on.
All the fun stuff barely gets mentioned.
St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago is just different.
Then I moved to Chicago and experienced my first here in the city, and the infamous southside parade.
It’s like comparing a Bills tailgate to a Browns one.
They’re both elite, in a class by themselves, and absolute bucket-list experiences.
It’s hard to explain why exactly Chicago gets the nod, it just does.
For instance, in Chicago, even our gangbangers partake in the holiday spirit.
This year it was a luke 64 degrees warm out.
Like ten years ago it was randomly 80 degrees and the city almost crumbled from the mayhem.
Let’s wrap up the preamble and get to the reason everybody clicked here.
Borg is actually an acronym for “Black Out Rage Gallon”, aka “riot juice”.
you’re able to read all about them here.
I’m actually impressed by the lack of fucks kids today give when it comes to drinking in public.
(Sidebar - do they still give underage kids citations if they’re caught drinking?)
Anyway, back in my day, we had to be way more discreet.
We opted for Sprite bottles we would fill with Bacardi Limon.
Kind of have to respect it.
Get your hashbrowns and your McMuffin, set a nice base for yourself, and be on your way.
Save the pent up aggression and sexual frustration for 4pm when you uber home alone.
(Sidebar - ever sincethe Wrigleyville McDonald’s was taken from us (R.I.P.
It’s a warzone.)
10AM West Loop- Man swinging fire extinguisher at people inside Starbucks
Take it easy man.
This is our Starbucks right down the street from Good Night John Boy.
If this asshole fucked with Glenda, then he got what’s coming to him.
“And every year it’s the same result.
Ever heard of it?
Read a history book for me one time.
My guess is probably Murphy’s Bleachers.
1:11 PM River North-
You’re not living if you aren’t needlessly riskingnot livingon St. Patrick’s Day.
“then you probably lived in a bubble.
1:13 PM River West-
Real talk I hope this girl was ok and assuming she was.
But this sounds about right.
A for effort though for not tapping out until post 1pm in the afternoon.
1:51 PM Old Town-
This is the opposite.
1:37 PM Loop-
So it feels like 1pm was the tipping point for everybody.
But here’s what feels like the first of many fights on the day.
People generally don’t fight and have a go at kill each other for no reason.
Thoughts and prayer to this kid in the video.
2:45 PM River North- People fighting in front of the Trump building
Speak of the devil.
Girl fights mean girls only bro.
This is trash behavior.
What a snake move.
3:14 River North- The Shannon Rovers have arrived
Nobody does it better.
That is the official uniform of people with nothing to lose on St. Patrick’s Day.
You get in a scrum with one of them and your rolling the dice.
5:22 PM - Old Town- Man threatening to jump
Suicide is no joke.
I made sure to check to see that this all ended safe and sound.
I think we’ve all been, or know somebody that’s been in this guys shoes.
5:30 in the afternoon.
Long-ass day of drinking.
Probably a good 7-8 blowout arguments with the girlfriend everybody knows it’s never going to work out.
But they just don’t understand her the way that you do.
Especially when it’s just the two of you.
Nobody really gets what you guys have.
It’s all going to turn around one day.
Then things take a turn for the worst on St. Patrick’s Day and the wheels come off.
You call her just a couple (dozen) times and send a few texts.
Your texts are showing up green and you’re going straight to voicemail.
Then an hour or so later you finally get a notification on your phone from her.
“I think we should see other people.”
What’s even the point of living anyway?
7:43 PM Wrigleyville -
Glass houses Alexis.
You were 25 once too.
Today- the river stays green for a couple days
p.s.
