Somebody Needs To Tell Dante He Has Run Out Of Hot Athletes

My Dear Dante,

I’ve been enjoying your “Hottest Olympic Athletes in Paris” series.

For my part, I do not watch the Olympics to judge the attractiveness of the athletes.

Heck, I don’t even see what they look like!

I care only about their form, performance, flexibility, muscle tone, spirit, backstory, etc.

How do they carry themselves in defeat?

Which of their family members died unexpectedly, spurring them to throw that shotput an extra foot?

These are the things I watch for.

However, it is abundantly clear that you have run out of hot athletes.

And with each subsequent volume of your series, you wear away at the integrity of your premise.

You see, therewerehot athletes, and you covered them; you got them all.

Everything from this point forward feels like the last eight-ish seasons of Grey’s Anatomy.

But I’m not excited about them as I once was.

Good Lord, have you seen some of the dudes?

That’s an untapped market there, old friend.

You could also delve into the Paralympic athletes, but I’m not sure how that will be received.

It could be seen as incredibly progressive or nauseatingly distasteful.

I can’t pretend to know how the woke Olympic crowd will react.

You’re a good man.