Listen, being a South Florida sports fan is like signing up for a lifetime of emotional torment.
Actually, scratch that.
Being a Miami Dolphins fan?

Thats a full-blown death sentence.
You see what they do to me?
If were measuring love by championships, no ones done more for me than the Heat.

The Big 3 era.
Some people say I owe this team my life.
The Miami Heat take on the Orlando Magicaka, ourlittle bitch.

Look, I wont even call them our little brother.
That would insult every little brother out there.
But Ill admit, the Magic are getting stronger.
Still, the Heat are two-and-a-half-point favorites, and yeah, Ive already put money on them.
But my favorite bet tonight has nothing to do with the spread.
We all know Jimmy Butler doesnt give a damn about the regular season.
Sure, hes our workhorsebut its opening night.
And you know what that means: this is a Tyler Herro night.
Tylers coming off another end-of-season injury, and hes got something to prove.
Thats why Im all in on Tyler Herro to make the first three-pointer for Miami at +225 odds.
Well, until Sunday rolls around, anyway.