Dr. Earle Haas (male), invented the modern day tampon in 1931.
So much has happened in the world since then.
Hitler was just starting to hit his stride.
We were still a full 50 years from the government inventing AIDS.
But in all that time, the tampon has remained virtually unchanged.
Don’t believe me?
Go ahead and pull a tampon out of any random woman on the street.
It’s going to look almost identical to what Dr. Earle Haas invented pre-World War II.
Now I know what you’re thinking… Classic women…
Willing to stick anything under the sun up their pussies without knowing where the hell it’s been.
It can’t be worse than a penis right?
To be fair to women, that’s actually pretty sound thinking.
Well turns out that’s not the case.
Bad time to be heavily invested in big tampon.
Great time to be an upstart menstrual boat company.
Jokes aside, this is scary stuff.
It really makes you stop and think, “How does this affect men?”
As far as I know, women put two things in their vaginas: tampons and penises.
Less than 50% of women use tampons.
But 100% of the penises tampon user let into their bodies belong to men.
Do we need to start using condoms again?
By having unprotected sex with a habitual tampon user, are we putting ourselves at risk for lead penis?
Is that why my son is black?
Doctors claim that despite these studies, tampons are still safe.
That the levels of these metals are inconsequential to the user.
But that girl with the pink hair and big eyelashes in the viral TikTok seemed pretty upset.
So I’m going to go ahead and assume that this is a huge fucking deal.
Until we see any further studies, stay safe out there men.
The weekend is upon us.
If she’s a tamponer, it might be best to steer elsewhere.
Just to be safe.
