I can handle conflict as well as the next fella.
I’ve seen people I care about stop talking to each other for months.
Watched several of my closest friends' marriages break up.
Lived through the last few years of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick.
But is it too much to ask that we have something to believe in?
One relationship to give us hope that humans are capable of more than just fighting all the time?
Until now, I thought we had that in Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
The perfect pop star and the perfect athlete, combining to achieve pure perfection as a couple.
And if this newest report is to be believed, it is neither her fault nor his.
“But whispers are swirling that maybe theyve hit a bit of a snag.
Apparently, her team is worried theyve been overselling the relationship.
The vibe seems to be shifting, and insiders suggest both stars might need to safeguard their brands.
Remember, before she fell for Travis, she was all about the Philadelphia Eagles!
“Until now, its been nothing but good times!
Definitely not the romantic vibe they were hoping for!”
I guess in a way this would be her going back to her roots.
Like a 21st century version of Elvis' 1968 comeback special.
But that’s neither here nor there.
The more pressing matter is what do we do about this?
They make it sound like these two are just another couple.
Or just a generic pair of disposable celebrities who are doomed to fail from the start.
Instead of what they are, which is royalty.
What these two have, let no man tear asunder.
Their love is pure.
Their relationship, sacred.
We can’t just sit idly by and let it fail like she’s Jennifer Aniston.
America needs these two crazy, star-crossed lovers to make it.
The world of music needs it.
Pro football needs it.
Satirical, wiseass sports and comedy websites need it.
We’ve had it too good for too long to just see these two go their separate ways now.
I for one am not ready to go back to a world where the Chiefs are just another team.
Where their games are just ordinary games.
This source uses the word “overselling”?
We’ll be the judge of how much “selling” we want Swift and Kelce to do.
We’ll decide who’s brand is being damaged by the incessant hype and fame-whoring.
So let’s get everyone on board.
Roger Goodell has supreme power to do whatever he thinks is in the best interest of The Shield.
Let him order Taylor and Travis to stay together.
Have him vacate the Eagles championship and give it to the Chiefs as punishment.
Let Trump negotiate peace between them.
Or better yet, sign an Executive Order forbidding them to split up.
Threaten to cut off all federal funds to Missouri if they don’t comply.
Mobilize the military if he has to.
Declare war on Philadelphia.
Just don’t let us have to face a future without these two as the perfect couple.
I can handle a lot.
Just don’t expect me to live like that again.
