I don’t necessarily want to, but on some level it’s my job.
They’re literally just floors.
They come out of nowhere.
I’m also inundated with rap news.
Apparently that’s what moves the needle.
YouTube streamers, rappers, and OnlyFans mod- excuse me… people get mad when I call them models.
Those are the big three.
But I’m going to focus on rap here.
I at least have theslightestbit of knowledge about rappers.
I can at least wrap my mind around what makes a good rapper.
I can identify a quality rap song.
The first story here actually featured a rapper I’ve heard of.
I’m brave enough to admit I’ve non-ironically enjoyed his music before.
Specifically while lifting weights.
Yes, it was.
I’m sorry, Tekashi 6ix9ine.
You’re an accomplished artist.
But ‘STOOPID (feat.
It’s not like you made the Ignition (Remix).
Tekashi 6ix9ine aka Daniel Hernandez’s life has been a downward spiral from the minute I learned his name.
He racketeered one too many times.
But I knew if we were to hear it, it would be in a headline of this manner.
Shoutout to the men out there bidding on the disgraced rapper’s gold & multi-colored enamel grills.
Moving on to less disgraced rapper/kidney cancer survivor Boosie Badazz.
Some rappers have staying power that I don’t fully understand.
For example:
On Friday, Boosie brought to the table a business proposition.
I’ve long said important business should be conducted in all caps.
That’s how you let investors know you are a serious person.
I personally think this would be a great use of 26 acres.
There’s just something about a waterpark.
Long lines full of unruly children.
Pear-shaped adults with the irrational confidence to wear a bathing suit in public.
Watermelon-shaped adults asking way too much from white t-shirt.
Waterparks are a magical place.
A place where people of all shapes and colors are willing to bathe together in a lukewarm toilet.
Why can’t we build communities around waterparks the way we do with golf courses?
Boosie might be onto something here.
Speaking of streamers who I am convinced were created out of thin air.
Today was the day I finally broke down and looked up who Plaqueboymax is.
I’ve been fighting the urge to do so for weeks.
An ugly, ugly rap beef that would make Suge Knight bluff.
But Plaqueboymax guy who disapproves of weed smoking is popular now.
He is a rapper and a streamer.
His songs have millions of listens on Spotify.
I’ll admit, he’s an objectively attractive guy.
His career has taken off over the last year.
And he’s super popular with, as he calls it, “Gay Twitter”.
See if you’re free to deduce how that happened.
But Plaqueboymax has officially reached critical mass with the gay community.
He’s sick and tired of people wanting to fuck him.
He sick of being called gay.
He’s a super tough, super straight rapper, and he won’t hear anything else.
He has no early idea how this could have happened.
Despite the fact that he actively bragged about using “Gay Twitter” to “increase his viewership”.
Now he’s trying to do damage control.
Thank goodness he nipped that in the bud.
Also Soulja Boy is yelling at the Catch Me Outside Girl from Dr. Phil.
He says she’s mad at him because he wouldn’t consent to a dick suck.
I think it might be time for a mass unfollowing.
It’s gotten away from me.
I might be time for me to start watching Ken Burns documentaries.
