Bryan Johnson has made a name for himself by dedicating his life to “reversing the aging process”.
He’s spent over $2 million per year in the process.
According to Bryan, he’s actually succeeded in reversing his age.
God says he’s a 47 year old man.
Which to me isn’t “reversing the aging process” as much as it is slowing it down.
But whatever he’s doing, it is undeniablyhelping him live longerchanging his face.
Physically, Bryan may be the healthiest man on earth.
Mentally, I’m guessing he’s a disaster.
Anybody who’s that obsessed with not dying must live a life filled with crippling anxiety.
I bet it’s a horror show inside of his head.
But on a medical chart, Bryan Johnson is the epitome of health.
That’s Bryan’s son Talmage, who follows in his father’s footsteps.
The two are exceptionally close.
Both are in tip top physical condition.
Both deathly afraid of death.
They work out with each other.
They eat the same aggressively healthy diet.
They get shirtless and hold up jars of sperm together.
Bryan passes down his anti-aging wisdom to Talmage.
Talmage gives Bryan his blood.
It is literally thehealthiestfather-son relationship I have ever seen.
But you have to understand, living forever is what the Johnson family does.
It’s not only a paralyzing fear death.
It’s a competition.
On Tuesday night, Bryan and Talmage Johnson went for a combined 11 episodes & 366 minutes duration.
Their AEQ (average erection quality) was 92.
Do you know how impressive that is?
But you wouldn’t begrudge a father for posting his son’s stat line after recording a double-double.
The two seem to have a loving relationship.
I just hope Bryan isn’t too hard on him.
Never dying is an high bar to live up to.
Or if he came home from the doctor’s one day with a humiliating cancer diagnosis.
That would be detrimental to the Johnson family name.
And think about the pressure you’d feel to not die every time you left the house.
All it takes is one freak accident for the Johnson’s entire life’s work to be all-for-not.
That’s too much pressure.
It’s no way to live a life.
And who even knows if what they’re doing will really add significant years to their lives.
At least that’s what I like to tell myself.
But I hope Bryan and Talmage really do find a way to live forever.
Or whatever the hell their weird final goal is.
