Ready to hear about a fella’s life who will instantly make you feel better about yours?
Well, I’ve got the perfect sucker just for you, Eagles' fans listen closely.
An anonymous man split his penis in half during a motorcycle accident back in 2020.
Not great, but hey modern medicine is a beautiful thing, right?
Doctors quickly reconstructed his penis and made it brand new.
It got infected immediately and forced them to amputate.
Bad situation to find yourself in if you ask me.
He even goes as far to say that his sex life with his wife has IMPROVED post-losing dick.
‘[Our sex life] has improved a lot.
We strap on and learn to stimulate in other ways,’ he said.
‘We’re both very happy sexually now.’
So this guy was just terrible in bed.
The worst of the worst.
Either that or his wife is a liar and doesn’t want him to kill himself.
I’m also fairly positive his wife is now cheating on him.
And I think she should be.
‘It was great to have a wife who fully accepted me and never made me feel less than.’
If this happened in my friend group there would be endless ball-busting.
The article does state that after two years he learned to not take life so seriously.
Great decision, no other way to go along with life.
If that’s the case though, his friends should be sniping him with jokes left and right.
This is the kind of friend group that gets happy when someone’s team wins the Super Bowl.
That shit is pathetic.
Always root for your pals' sports fandom demise unless it’s your own team.
That makes your team winning even sweeter, knowing everyone else is sad.
It’s toxic and cruel, but way more fun and refreshing.
Anyways, credit to this guy for persevering and finding some light in an otherwise life of complete darkness.
I’d most likely have ended it all knowing I could never jerk off again.
That’s probably more of a me problem than anything.
