Before we begin, let me just acknowledge that PFTCommenter is clearly beloved.
He’s been an absolute force in the podcast game for quite a long time.
Cons, Kate, and I are thankful for his service.
That being said, PFTCommenter might be the single biggest mush in the history of history.
I know what you’re thinking, “But Chaps, Marty Mush exists.”
Well, in 2012 a giant tortoise named Lonesome George passed away.
Guess who was there?
The artist formerly known as Eric.
Let me set the scene.
Our friend Lonesome George was a giant tortoise from the Galapagos and was the last of his kind.
Turns out that George was asexual which is his right as a sentient creature.
Everyone can not be like me and fuck 3400 times.
There’s no question about that.
George became a symbol of how important it is to protect endangered animals and the Galapagos in general.
He spent the rest of his life alone, which is how he got his name.
The connection is strong but let’s remember that correlation is not always causation but sometimes it is.
I’ll let you be the judge.
That being said, PFTCommenter unequivocally did not cause the shared tortoises of Charles Darwin and Steve to die.
I got that mixed up.
The tortoise I was thinking of when I wrote the headline was our friend and longtime stoolie Harriet.
Harriet was first discovered by the heretic Charles Darwin during his trip to the Galapagos Islands in 1835.
She was believed to be around five years old at the time.
Just a cute little baby.
“But Chaps, sorry to interrupt again.
How on earth could that be possible?
Surely that’s a mistake.
That would make Harriet 176 years old at her untimely death in 2006.”
Ah, you’re familiar with Harriet and you’re exactly right.
Harriet was 176 years young and the oldest tortoise ever continuously observed.
In a brain-melting fact, Harriet was cared for by both Charles Darwin and Steve Irwin.
Harriet was first found in 1835 and was still alive and later taken care of by Steve Irwin.
Harriet died in 2006 causing the island to enter a stage of mourning.
Anyway, that was just one of the fascinating stories that PFT told.
Check out the full episode here to learn about my newest wildlife buddies – the blue-footed boobie.
