Who’s ready for another 18 sad and obscure NFL stat blogs dropping every week during the regular season?
In this moment your team remains undefeated.
You have a clean slate.
A world of possibilty.
Reality hasn’t hit yet unless you’re a Giants fan.
So instead of running sad stats, this blog will instead focus on glad stats.
Why not get even more gassed up for the season?
We all know how this works.
Week 1 will Smith us right in the face but that’s a problem for future us.
Besides, there’s reason for optimism for pretty much every shitty 2023 team.
Bryce Young has an actual wide receiver and new regime.
Bo Nix is all the rage in Denver.
Aaron Rodgers is healthy.
The Bears have the most exciting quarterback prospect in years.
The Commanders and Patriots also have rookie QB fever.
Even Spencer Rattler is getting hype in New Orleans.
Kyler’s back and healthy with a pedigreed slam dunk all star receiver.
Jim Harbaugh might not have his team running through walls, but they are breaking through elevators.
And the Giants… well I said pretty much for a reason.
Real quick on my Bears.
Not saying they’ll win or even get there - but they’ll be in the conversation.
They’ll shock the world.
And here’s my Truth stat to gas up my fellow Bears fans.
The 2024 preseason Bears demonstrated elite depth by producing a +68 preseason point differential.
That’s the third best for any preseason going back to 2010.
Needless to say I’ve taken pretty much all the Bears futures I could find.
OK Let’s talk Pre-MVP.
I dug up some stats on guys that are sure to give some excitement of possibilities to fans.
Let’s review some contestants.
Trey Lance - Dallas Cowboys:
Trey absolutely crushed it in the passing yards department.
I want to be very specific about that.
Over 200 yards MORE than the second highest passer this preseason.
So many more yards there’s no need to even look at any other stats.
And that’s not even your starting quarterback.
Always good to know if Dak goes down again you’ll have a solid backup.
But that’s just how they do things in Dallas.
Everything is bigger(including interceptions).
Anyway, Cooper Rush was the Absolute GOAT of the Pre-MVPs.
But that was then.
He must be staying in the facility 24/7 which explains how he was so dominant.
“Nice work Jack, now get the fuck out”.
Tim Boyle was next most attempts with 56.
He got cut too.
I guess it really is true.
Even if you are a Jack Plummer.
So who’s the Pre-MVP?
I guess we give it to Lance?
Nice job not getting cut after throwing five picks in one game.
Maybe Jaren, Tim and Jack can take some notes.
Bo Nix (It’s obviously Bo Nix)
Nah - we gotta give this to Bo Nix.
Bo might be the guy that comes out of nowhere.
The guy no one ever thinks about.
The Connor Roy to Caleb, Jayden, and Drake.
Will be interesting to see if this translates as Sean keeps raving about.
Very few actually get a chance to make a team.
The large majority are just bodies.
Jaren Hall was a body.
Jack Plummer was a body.
The stats don’t matter.
The effort doesn’t matter.
There is no hope.
Well look at that.
Seems I found a way to make glad stats turn sad afterall.
Guess I’m all warmed up for Week 1.
