Sorry, Deion) or simply “King” or even “Greatest Human Who’s Ever Lived.”
Today, I was really afraid we’d see a whole new Robbie.
Viral fame can change a person overnight.
I thought Robbie may not even show up today.
Or if he did, he might have 9 hookers with him or a crippling drug addiction.
But I was pleasantly surprised to see that Robbie hadn’t change A BIT.
He even sat next to me today and I got to sniff him when he wasn’t looking!
(He smelt like prime rib).
You won’t want to miss it.
It was just an honor to share a microphone with him.
And word had spread to the good people of Eataly.
They rolled out the red carpet for “The Prime Rib Guy.”
People were handing him babies to kiss.
Bras were being thrown in his face.
The cashier said “Thank you so much for the love!
We’re a small business mom and pop shop just dying to get some exposure!”
Robbie paid for all our sandwiches and then left a $200 tip for all the workers.
A man of incredible generosity.
I don’t what’s next for Robbie.
Maybe a guest spot on Fallon.
Maybe an appearance on Fox News.
Maybe he starts an OnlyFans.
