Alright March Madness casuals.

The idea here is pretty simple.

64 stats to cover all 64 tournament teams, which means one stat per team.

Consider that a bonus stat at no charge.

Lots to get to, so let’s get started.

Today we visit the South Region.

16 ALTST/SFU

One of these teams will play two games in the tournament.

This is a huge bonus for any team at the end of the game.

Frank must know to give the ball to Reyne when trouble’s brewing.

#9 Creighton is a model Jesuit University

Creighton will do anything for a dub.

But it won’t foul.

They also have a guy named Steve Ashworth who leads in turnovers for any relevant team (109).

So not only will they not commit acts against other teams, they will be charitable towards them.

For some reason “Camp Anawanna” from Salute Your Shorts just popped into my head.

But then again UC San Diego has pretty much played no one.

Even so, I’m going UC San Diego.

Can’t be a trap upset game if you don’t fall in the trap.

I’ll hope for the best and rep Torrey Pines - one of my favorite spots to hike.

Give me A&M.

But I think they can take down the play-in option between UNC and San Diego State.

I know it makes zero sense.

But it’s just my fan fiction.

I want to hear them say once again that Bubba Cunningham removed himself from that conversation too.

The good news though is they get to play Lipscomb.

#14 Lipscomb beat absolutely nobody

Honestly, who named this school?

The two best teams they played this season were Kentucky and Arkansas.

No one else they played were even ranked in the top-115 by NET.

Kentucky whomped them 97-68 and Arkansas 76-60.

I’ll take the team that went 1/17 from threes in a game, yo.

This concludes my research on Marquette.

Not a marquee stat, but you’re able to use Marquette to spell marquee too.

This is the act of holding, seizing, or grasping which is pretty much what rebounding is.

I think we’ll call this all even.

Hope this helps in deciding which team to pick.

Well, OK, they played St. Johns and lost by over 20.

Grand Canyon snuck out a win in that one by a score of 112-66.

Not the worst beat down of the year though, at least.

That’d be Kansas City over Calvary on November 18th (119-19).

On the plus side, Bryant is undefeated against quad one teams (0-0).

I’ll be back tomorrow morning with the next region.

Hope you’re starting to feel a little more confident in pressing the icons on those brackets.