But I’m not sure if I can sign up for “disfigured penis”.
Especially not if the NY Post is going to write an article about me.
Did they really have to do that?
Does that somehow help the guys lawsuit because it makes the whole thing more public?
It’s a shame really.
Because when the NY Post writes something, then Barstool Sports is contractually obligated to blog about it.
The whole story goes viral online.
Then the world knows Sean Miller of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina as the disfigured penis guy.
Although the more I think about it, this might not be all bad.
The article says he’s lost some sensation in his penis.
But that could be a good thing.
People pay to for products that remove sensation so they last longer in bed.
I’m pretty sure that’s literally what Roman Swipes are.
Unless Sean is a selfish lover, that should be a positive.
And I’ve learned from t-shirts that chicks actually dig scars.
Maybe it looks awesome.
They make ribbed condoms for a reason (her pleasure).
Maybe it even feels awesome.
I’m not trying to make light of the situation.
Well, yes, I am.
I’m just saying look on the bright side.
It’s all about how you market your disfigured penis.
You have to appear as miserable as possible to verify you get paid.
Play it up like crazy.
You just need to ditch the “disfigured penis” label and rebrand yourself.
Sean “Scarpenis” Miller, the Pussy Slaying King of Myrtle Beach.
Still don’t think I’d sign up for that personally.
But this doesn’t have to be the end of this guys life.
There’s a lot of good things that can come out of it.
Or something like that.
Hang in there, Sean.
