One free, no risk bet using someone else’s money.
Those were his work responsibilities for Sunday.
I bet most of you were rotting away watching NFL football on your couches all day.
But Mintzy has ahighlydemanding job.
Sometimes he has to adjust his social schedule to make over a quarter-of-his-salary bonus (maybe?)
in a few hours.
I’d love an opportunity to win $25k.
But I would have been there.
This weekend would have been easy to get to Chicago.
I didn’t have much going on.
But even if I did…
I don’t think I’d give up a full month.
I would need some sort of “no rape guarantee”.
It would probably be a nice little reset.
I’d spend a lot of time thinking.
It would definitely make me appreciate my freedom more.
So yeah… 2 weeks of freedom.
I’d give up 2 weeks of freedom for a $25k free bet.
Turkey For Life
I like turkey fine.
I think it’s a little overrated.
I’d prefer sitting around a nice roasted duck for Thanksgiving dinner.
But I eat turkey a good amount.
Not being able to eat it for the rest of my life would be a large inconvenience.
I’d never get to have a protein at Thanksgiving.
We often have meals with ground turkey as a healthy alternative to ground beef.
Sometimes I make lunch meat turkey sandwiches.
I wouldn’t necessarily miss it, but it would be an inconvenience for the rest of my life.
I’d take it on for a $25k bet though.
And I’ll even throw in the country of Turkey.
I don’t foresee myself ever needing to go there.
My hairline is doing just fine.
There were real people who said they would take the dinner over the money.
Or maybe they were already rich and just really wanted to meet the guy.
I don’t know.
I’m taking $500k.
I’d even take $25k.
I’d even take a 50% chance at $25k.
I’m sorry Jay-Z.
I’m sure we’d have a swell time.
We’d share some laughs.
You’d lecture me on the importance of investing in art.
Meeting My Favorite NFL Coach
Say my favorite coach is Sean Payton.
Honestly, I forget exactly what happened.
I was pretty sure they won a Super Bowl the following year.
But I’m seeing now that Katrina was in 2005, and the Saints didn’t win until 2010.
I know the Saints were important for that city.
And Sean Payton was a big part of it.
I’m taking my chances with the bet.
The Egg Bowl
The Egg Bowl is the college football rivalry game played between Ole Miss & Mississippi State.
It dates back to 1901.
It’s an event that any true, red-blooded college football fan would be blessed to witness in person.
Especially when played in Oxford, Mississippi.
What a treat to spend a fall afternoon galavanting around The Grove.
The weather is perfect.
The leaves are changing colors.
It’s everything that SEC football is about.
But there will be other Egg Bowls.
For me, a 50% chance at $25k would take precedent.
But I’m told it’s an experience everybody should have at least once in their life.
I would have put the Widespread Panic concert on hold.
Especially my fiancee’s.
I passed up a very real chance at $25,000 to be here with you."
She’d probably throw her drink in my face.
Not just the liquid either.
She’d baseball throw a heavy cocktail glass directly between my eyes.
Leave me bleeding out on a table in the middle of 4 Charles Prime Rib.
Probably wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day.
And she’s one of those people who LOVES her birthday too.
But she’s also a logical human being.
I can’t get her a better gift than $25k.
Christmas is my favorite holiday.
I love it all.
I’d be a little bummed out.
My family would be a little disappointed.
But they’d fully understand.
There will be other Christmases.
I can find another week to come home and see everyone.
I would literally give up my entire Christmas break for a $25k free bet without a second thought.
God damn it Mintzy.
Now I’ve worked myself up into a pissed.
But thankfully the bet is now going to people who genuinely deserve it.
So in the end it was all for the best.
