Very good at one thing, inept at pretty much everything else.
They’ll blow teams off the line in the run game.
But can’t pass protect, get the ball to the wideouts, or throw deep.
They’re Dickensian.A Tale of Two Schemes.
“It was the best of lines, it was the worst of lines.
They’re a one-legged guy in a karate tournament.
They’re Spinal Tap after Nigel left, and all they could do wasa free-form Jazz odyssey.
(I’ll finish the story below.)
–you’re free to respect how good they are at that one, admittedly limited skill.
We’re about hit the quarter pole of the 21st century.
Winning games entirely on the ground went out with landline phones, travel agencies and literacy.
It’s trying to dogfight an F-22 Raptor with a WWI biplane.
I squeezed one more analogy out of this.
I didn’t think I had it in me.)
–I don’t mean to come across like I’m saying this is a disaster.
That’s something that was unthinkable for long stretches of last season.
The equivalent of a weekend series in which your pitching allows 7 total runs, but you get swept.
And we’ll get into those scoring drives momentarily.
–But first, let’s dive into the glaring deficiencies.
The entire wide receiver depth chart combined for 3 receptions and 19 yards.
That’s one more catch than we’ve seen assassination attempts on one of our presidential candidates.
(You’re right.
By way of contrast, DK Metcalf and Jaxon Smith-Njigba alone combined for 22 and 246.
That’s asymmetrical warfare on a scale that is unsustainable.
If anything, it’s remarkable that they stayed as competitive as they did.
–Yes, their inability/unwillingness to get it to the wideouts was a major factor.
And the reason this team isn’t off to a shocking 2-0 start.
But not the only one:
1.
The aforementioned lack of pass blocking didn’t help.
Jacoby Brissett was sacked three times, hit another eight, and was pressured on roughly half his dropbacks.
Van Pelt calling for an inside gap run against a loaded box on 3rd & 3.
Jerod Mayo having to burn a time out because thought the clock would be reset after a fumble recovery.
But then thiswasa penalty:
That was, objectively speaking, a horrendous call.
Don’t take my word for it.
For the 2024 Patriots to walk so the 2025 Pats can run.
And two games in, we’re seeing some early indications.
–Take, for example, Hunter Henry’s 35 yard catch and run.
A great play call by AVP, executed to perfection.
But is still an alien concept around here.
It’d be nice if we didn’t have to rely on him doing it so often.
But this is the duty he signed on for.
–The lack of production from the wideouts is definitely a concern.
Or at least cut down a little.
save it for special occasions like goal line and short yardage.
He doesn’t have to go Cold Turkey, go to a total spread formation.
But if he could try vaping in a few 3-WR sets, it might be a healthier alternative.
On Stevenson’s direct snap touchdown, Leverett was on the edge, blocking down.
(Ezekiel Elliot had that role last season and was more of a built-in redundancy with Stevenson.)
Van Pelt brought him in to start the 2nd quarter and the move immediately paid off.
He twice got outside on stretch runs for 4 and then 19 yards up the sidelines.
But he was sneaky one of the best pickups of the offseason.
Hence Geno Smith completing 75% of his passes.
Which resulted in the hardest thing for Metcalf to do, which is go unnoticed in an NFL secondary.
I beg to differ.
I thought they went to it quite a few times.
Including on a pass breakup Jaylinn Hawkins had on Smith-Njigba to end the Seahawks' first possession.
Even Josh Uche was in the deep middle zone, which you rarely if ever see.
–Which brings me to Christian Gonzalez.
We’re no longer operating off a small sample size.
This game was no exception.
When he was in man against Metcalf, he gave up 3 catches on 7 targets for 24 yards.
24s in Foxboro, from Ty Law to Darrelle Revis to Stephon Gilmore.
–you’re able to have your Aidan Hutchinson.
My favorite White defensive end is Keion.
And a huge reason they were so comfortable with trading Matthew Judon.
So his leadership role comes off as more than you expect out of second year players.
I’m predicting now there’ll be a lot No.
99 Patriots jerseys under the tree this Christmas.
–League wide, there’s two things I’d like to eliminate, starting immediately.
First is the Static Kickoff, which isn’t working.
It has simply not had the intended effect.
Second, is I’d like to reduce Jason Kelce’s screen time by about 75%.
It didn’t take long for the Likeable Kelce to become insufferable once he got overexposed.
Scarcity would really help.
But I’m willing to be flexible on that.
But you are not a Jedi yet.”
- Darth Vader,Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
–Oh well.
Y’know, I heard them say that ‘AIDS doesn’t discriminate.’
Which is kinda nice.
… Where are you all going?"
I hope you appreciated him while he was still with us.
Norm’s kind passes this way but once.)
