This is North Attleboro, MA.
You’re probably wondering how we got here.
Fire officials say the bulls then raced towards the woods behind BJs Restaurant and Brewhouse.
Let’s get one important piece of business out of the way.
And that is to thank the members of our law enforcement community for a job well done.
Capturing seven out of eight rampaging bulls is batting .875.
It’s been a pretty bleak year for the reputation of Massachusetts law enforcement.
And cops could use the win.
Even the Environmental Police.
Apparently it’s meant for some other category of refuse.
She was very nonspecific about whatever the applicable statute was.
She simply gave me the impression I was the biggest case she’d cracked all month.
But enough about me.
This is a big W for these public servants.
The best job of stopping a bunch of Bulls we’ve seen in this parts sincethe 2017 Celtics.
I apologize for nothing.)
That said, this is another example of why I’m not always proud to be a Masshole.
I’ve traveled some.
I’ve been to Alaska a handful of times and traveled through the southwest.
And they are a different breed than we are.
First of all, we have our rodeos at themall.
Like it’s a jeans sale at Old Navy.
The rodeo is a proud American tradition.
Something unique in all the world that defines who we are as a people.
Second, we can’t keep our bulls penned up.
Even for a few hours.
Which seems to me to be the No.
1 prerequisite of getting a decent rodeo off the ground.
And honestly, how hard can that be?
But our parking lots and neighborhoods turn into Pamplona in a matter of minutes.
They’d have taken matters into their own hands.
Jumped on their trusty steeds.
Rounded up these doggies, roped ‘em, pulled, and branded ‘em like Rowdy Yates inRawhide.
They’d be eating Cowboy steaks made from that missing bull as we speak.
And have the other seven butchered and hanging in the walk-in fridge at BJ’s Restaurant and Alehouse.
This is one sport we’ll ever be winning championships at.
Let’s stick to what we know.
