Or don’t, completely up to you.
Obviously tonight, we have Mike Tyson taking on Jake Paul in a boxing match.
Von Kaiser-Easily the worst opponent in the game.
Nothing exciting about this mamaluke at all.
Actually, he has a legit stache.
I will give him that.
Also loses points because he is from Philly.
Mario-Probably his most underrated appearance in any game, despite the fact he basically does nothing.
Little Mac-Not a very interesting or fun character, but plays the scrappy underdog well.
Its actually pretty amazing that Punch Out is as good as it is with such a boring main character.
I forgot that Little Mac was only 17 years old in this game.
Maybe he just hasnt hit his growth spurt yet?
But he lacks the flair of the people in the Top 5.
Soda Popinski-A drunk, commie bastard who has a laugh that nightmares are made of.
Glass Joe-Going 1-99 is pretty damn impressive, mainly because he took 99 ass-beatings and kept getting up.
Sneaky zing to the French having him hail from Paris.
I see what you did there, Nintendo.
Bald Bull-Great name and great special move (The Bull Charge).
When talking about Punch Out, Bald Bull is usually one of the first opponents people you think of.
You fight him twice in the original and he is in Super Punch Out as well.
That has to count for something.
When Clay Davis plays you in a commercial, you are making the Top 5.
It’s that simple.
Plus let’s call it like it is.
The man can ride the hell out of a bike.
Don Flamenco-Such a Nancy in this game, but his job is to piss you off.
I just learned today that he is only 23 years old, which is a toughhhh look.
Arrogant as the day is long and one of the best 2nd banana bosses in video game history.
Both Super Macho Man and Mike Tyson are somehow undefeated in this game.
How does that even happen?
Was Tyson ducking Macho Man a la Mayweather/Pacquiao?
Or was it like a Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali two champions kind of thing?
One of the great unanswered questions of my youth.
As dominant as Kid Dynamite was, he isnt number 1.
Thats because number 1 goes to…
1.
King Hippo-This big SOB comes in hopping and jawing right off the bat.
He is also royalty and other than 1 legit weakness, is impossible to beat.
King Hippo is basically the Achilles of Punch Out and I wont hear anything different.
The best character in the entire game.
All Hail The King.
Hopefully its namesake can turn back the clock tonight.
