You’ve achieved as much as one company can possibly achieve.
You own the biggest everything in the world.
That football game you’re watching?
It’s a Disney production.
The retirement complex in Florida you shipped your grandmother to against her will?
That’s a Disney property.
The United States Government?
And that this 70th anniversary celebration is specifically a Disneylandthing.
Which isn’t even the good Disney theme park.
And I know that the celebration isn’t even happening until next spring.
We’re celebrating that Disney set a date for a celebration.
Good job, Disney.
Disney orchestrated a timeless classic and wove it in perfectly with the storyline of a classic animated film.
Both regular and special education.
After Simba’s father Mufasa dies and his body turns to fungus, Simba is sad.
But thankfully he’s introduced to the friendly meerkat-warthog duo of Timon and Pumbaa.
Bambi’s mother being shot by a hunter is another one of Disney’s signature cartoon murders.
One of the most memorable moments in the history of the company.
Yet another valuable life lesson for children of all ages.
Much like fathers, mothers can also die.
Moms can be shot at any moment.
It’s the circle of life on display in a more realistic manner.
Pinocchio - Lampwick Turns Into Donkey
A harrowing moment of cartoon history.
In this unforgettable scene, Pinocchio’s child friend Lampwick, after throwing back a 32 oz.
That’s a fantastic question.
That way they can tell themselves that they’re not really people.
Or that the life of a slave donkey is less cruel than that of a child prostitute.
Or maybe they just didn’t have a child buyer.
It’s hard to say.
Luckily, Pinocchio gets away.
Lampwick is carrying immigrants on his back across a border somewhere.
Which could actually be rewarding work depending on how you choose to look at it.
Hunchback of Notre Dame - Quasimodo Tied to Wheel
Set in 1482 Paris, France.
The evil King of Paris(?
But they do not fuck in the end.
That would have been too much.
He is a freak after all.
She ends up opting for a less handicapped individual.
There’s an 8 minute episode of Donald Duck where Donald Duck is a Nazi.
He has pictures of the Axis Powers' leaders on his bedroom wall.
He reads Mein Kampf.
Donald Duck Sieg Heil’s more than a few times.
Carries a drum with a Swistika on it.
There’s Swastikas everywhere He even shapes his body into a Swastika at one point.
Turns out it was all in Donald’s dream.
Donald Duck has only ever been a Nazi in his nightmares.
And the whole cartoon has an anti-Nazi message.
But the images are something.
Congratulations on your upcoming 70th anniversary event, Disneyland.
I hope your celebration that’s nearly half a year away is the most magical celebration on earth.
I’m sorry everyone hates Moana 2.
Maybe try having some more lovable characters murdered in the third one.
Or try bringing in a new character.
Throw one of your classic Asian cats into the mix.
Anything to get back to your roots.
