Look, Ive got nothing but love for the folks at Barstool New York.
Ive built some solid relationships there.
But if were talking about the city itself… yeah, its not exactly my vibe.
Too many Knicks fans walking around like every season is finally their year.
Ive got nothing against New Yorkersmy moms whole family is from New York.
My issue is with New York sports fans.
I dont like them, and they dont like meand Im perfectly fine with that.
When it comes to New York sports, the only thing I know is hate.
Watching the Knicks and Jets fold like lawn chairs every year brings me immense pleasure.
Honestly, its better than sex.
Theres simply no way I could survive among those fans.
But regardless of how I feel about it, Im staying put.
Because of that beautiful little thing called a no-trade clause.
A no-trade clause is like the golden ticket of contractsits the ultimate power move.
And if youre lucky enough to have one, you use it.
No asterisk, no wiggle room.
In all seriousness, though, I wish that were true.
My brain wont let me do nothingitd eat me alive.
Remember, I got hired off the street with 8,000 followers because I won a bet with Dave Portnoy.
So yeah, this is me saying it loud and clear: Im not leaving.
A contracts a contract, and this seat?
Stop telling my girlfriend youre trying to trade me so shell break up with me, you old freak.
