If Philly Fans Are Really The Best In The World, Then Pete Alonso's "Playoff Pumpkin" Will Meet The Same Fate As HitchBOT

First and foremost, who does Pete Alonso think he’s fooling?

I was born at night, Pete, not last night.

That’s a drug smuggling pumpkin if I’ve ever seen one.

But of course the MLB won’t investigate into this and drug test Pete Alonso before the NLDS.

So it’s up to Philly fans to take care of business ourselves like we’re used to doing.

You want to bring a drug smuggling pumpkin into our ballpark?

Remember when Philly saved the world by delaying the inevitable AI takeover of humanity?

Well Philly is going to have to save the world yet again.

The world needs balance and order to get to thrive.

They aren’t meant to experience jubilation.

But baseball is a weird sport.

So so that bring balance back to the world, it’s time to smash that pumpkin.