Yahoo- With almost 3 million produced each day, J.M.
Smucker’s Uncrustables sandwiches are no doubt a popular snack option for kids and adults alike.
Read more to learn the results and why Uncrustables are these sportsmens first choice for pre-game fuel.
That large number comes out to about 3,600 to 4,300 Uncrustables a week.
At one time, that amount of Uncrustables could physically cover over 18 yards of a football field.
So this is my attempt to break out of that rut.
But back to the uncrustables and this story that claims the NFL puts down 80,000 a year.
That number is bullshit and the fact people are acting like that’s a lot is a joke.
Let’s break this down.
The Denver Broncos, apparently, lead the league with 700 Uncrustables a week.
That’s a decent number, I guess, but still.
It’s the Broncos.
Have you seen those guys?
And they’re only eating, what, 100 Uncrustables a day, split between the entire team?
I’m not buying it.
I mean, have you seen the guy?
He’s a beast.
And he’s not alone.
George Kittle, Mike Danna, Justin Tucker these guys are all vocal Uncrustable enthusiasts.
I’m willing to bet the two Barstool offices combined consume more than 300 uncrustables a week.
I would say between 400-600.
That Broncos number (700) a week actually seems realistic.
Are teams underreporting their Uncrustable intake?
Are they embarrassed to admit how many of these things they actually crush?
I mean, I get it.
It’s not exactly the most glamorous snack.
But let’s be real, Uncrustables are fucking delicious.
They’re the perfect combination of sweet and savory, and they’re easy to eat on the go.
If I am an NFL owner, I am stockpiling uncrustables in my team dining facilities.
I’m calling for a full investigation into this matter.
We need to get to the bottom of this Uncrustable discrepency.
All I know is that 80,000 seems way too low.
