One of the worst traits someone can have is being a pretentious prick.
Especially when it comes to being a snob about food.
Anyone who thinks they’re above something is just a gigantic asshole.
But sometimes you just want a shitty burger, and a Big Mac hits that spot perfectly.
But people get older and they start to give a shit about what other people think of them.
They want to seem cultured and of a certain class.
Are chicken tenders and fries fucking delicious?
Of course they are.
But they wouldn’t be caught dead eating them because they think they’re above chicken tenders and fries.
Which brings us to Goldfish.
The snack that smiles back.
Because you’re an adult, and adults don’t eat Goldfish, right?
So now they’re rebranding as “Chilean Sea Bass” to seem more adult.
It shouldn’t haven taken this.
Doesn’t matter if you’re 3-years-old or 30, they are perfect.
You may be thinking to yourself right now, “Jesus, Jordie.
That’s a pretty in-depth breakdown of Goldfish.
Is everything okay?”.
And to that I’d answer yes.
Everything is going perfect, actually, because I’m eating some right now.
Fact of the matter is that Goldfish are a masterpiece.
They check all of the boxes.
