Elon Musk is the prototypical example of “money can’t buy happiness.”
Or free you of your stupid insecurities.
I’d live so happily ever after.
I think I could do it.
There’s things I know that nobody else possibly could.
But then my fiancee would have to get over the fact that I look like Elon Musk now.
Not that he’s a necessarily a worse looking guy than I am.
It’s just a big change.
I’d have a funny accent.
It’d be a pretty major thing to overcome.
But in reality it’s not that simple.
Brains don’t work that way.
After a month I’d wind up depressed and missing my old broke life.
Money isn’t some magical cure all.
Elon Musk proves it.
He has everything in life.
He can do whatever the hell he wants, whenever the hell he wants to.
But when he looks himself in the mirror, he’s not satisfied.
He sees some faceless username of a guy who works part-time at GameStop and wants what he has.
A super high rank in Diablo IV and Path of Exile 2.
And when he sees his username in the top 20, he feels better about himself.
That’s what’s important to him.
Despite all the money, power, influence, kids who hate him, etc.
All these allegations are alleged.
But the true gamers who’ve been watching him play are certain he’s up to something.
This is straight-up account sharing.
Avid Diablo IV gamers werent convinced.
All Elon Musk wants to do is change the world and have people online think he’s cool.
Ironically, if he were just less online, everybody would probably love him.
Who wouldn’t like the guy using his personal fortune to make cool cars and explore space?
But he wants to be cool in the online way.
That’s all he wants.
To make a Sydney Sweeney has great breasts joke on the internet that everyone LOL’s at.
Not that he doesn’t get a shit load of likes and engagement on everything he posts.
He’s massively famous.
That comes with the territory.
But it’s not the same.
He wants to go viral for being genuinely hilarious.
By repackaging the same Twitter jokes in slightly original ways like the great anonymous burner accounts of our time.
I really hate that he’s managed to attach himself to Donald Trump.
Now it feels like you might’t poke fun of Elon without people taking it as an indictment of America.
Honestly, it was a savvy move by him.
Going political to curry favor is a tried and true method of becoming popular on the internet.
Just ask Clay Travis.
But Elon’s gotta be careful.
Trump hasn’t even been inaugurated yet and we’re already getting reports like this.
But it sure seems like something that could happen if Elon lets himself get carried away.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have it on my 2025 bingo card.
But if he were capable of doing that, I’d imagine he would have by now.
You have so much more going for you than that.
So many more important things to focus on.
Worry about colonizing Mars.
Now that would be cool.
People would love you for it.
If you release the alien files, I promise I’ll never say a bad word about you again.
