I’ll begin by stating the obvious, so no one else has to.

While I’ve been standup for over 30 years and have done none of those things.

She can sell out a huge theater.

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And I’m hoping to sell out a brewery in my ancestral homeland of Weymouth in 10 days.

(Tickets are available!)

So by all objective standards, she’s better at standup comedy than me.

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That is duly noted.

And I defy anyone to explain to me how this looks like a good time.

For anyone besides Ellen Degeneres:

I mean, this trailer started out with some promise.

Acknowledging that you “got kicked out of show business” is a great open.

There would’ve been comedy gold in them hills.

And a ton of authenticity, which funnier than fakery every time it’s tried.

I guess it could be.

But is it funny?

Which is pretty much the whole point of doing a Netflix comedy special?

Regardless, who is this for exactly, if not Ellen?

They never got a standing ovation that lasted over a minute.

And it wasn’t even a punchline.

It was just her working out her issues.

And Degeneres got paid for hers.

I just don’t see where she’s going to get it.