Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out.
The post-Donald Trump assassination attempt episode.
But then I looked it up and was reminded of North Korea.
Kim Jong Un had his brother assassinated in 2017 for having the wrong haircut.
But North Korea doesn’t really count.
And Osama Bin Laden wasNOTan assassination.
I looked that up too.
Therefore it’s not an assassination.
So unless I’m forgetting something then that was the first one.
That asshole who shot him really fucked up my Saturday afternoon.
All I wanted to do was watch Netflix’s new Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders documentary and have nap.
But he just had to go try and kill the President.
you’ve got the option to’t take a nap after someone tries to kill the President.
It’s your patriotic duty to get on your phone and watch people fight about it on the internet.
Also I have a question about the Secret Service.
I don’t care how cool they look.
Or is that just me?
Do people who are used to wearing sunglasses all the time think that they can see better with them?
Then you gotta take the time to adjust them all all that.
Are wearing sunglasses really that important?
Is it supposed to be an intimidating thing?
Are they protecting their identities?
Are their identities really that important?
I just don’t get why the glasses are so necessary.
I saw someone on Twitter say that Biden should one up Trump and come out as gay.
Thought that was funny.
Wished I’d have thought it.
Yesterday that person was Richard Simmons.
Everyone keeps saying, “Poor Richard Simmons, he died and nobody gives a shit”.
Unless like… his 1980’s fitness infomercials saved your life or something.
If anything this puts Richard Simmons death more on the radar.
I was watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders documentary.
There’s not many people I can do that for.
I think the list is Osama Bin Laden, Kobe Bryant, my Grandpa Maynard, and Richard Simmons.
You were perfectly annoying on those exercise tapes.
I just finished watching Carlos Alcaraz beat Djokovic in the Wimbledon final.
That was the most impressive tennis I can ever recall watching.
He already has 4 majors at age 21.
After watching that it’s hard for me to even imagine him ever losing a tennis match again.
But Carlos… if you’re reading this, you gotta do something about those teeth.
They’re very yellow.
I guess they don’t look too yellow in that picture.
Maybe the sun reflecting off the Wimbledon grass today was giving you some bad lighting.
This is a bit of a pot calling kettle black situation, because I have pretty horrible teeth myself.
I was very quiet last week when the internet was roasting Nicky Smokes for having 9 cavities.
That’s a lot of attention on your teeth.
And every time you win Wimbledon you have to have an up close conversation with Kate Middleton.
Who looks fantastic and perfectly healthy btw.
Just find the best teeth whitener in Spain and they’ll fix you right up.
Anyways, congrats on all the success.
