Most importantly that Dave Portnoy is NOT fat.
But we’ll get to that in a bit.
How else can you explain him looking like Creed Bratton in his youthful prime?
Which Whitney vehemently denies.
All while continuing to sling mud about a perceived weight gain from Dave.
Who again, is not fat.
Cannot stress that enough.
It’s an impressive spin zone and I got nothing personal against Whit to assume he’s lying.
If anything, my eyes are seeing visible abs right there.
I’m sure if Hugh Jackman was lying down like that it’d look exactly the same.
Maybe Whit got a little blinded from all that Miami sun shining in?
I’ll consider that’s the truth for now.
Let’s just chill with the slander about a great man who loves eating pizza.
And loves putting food on OUR tables at Barstool Sports, Ryan Whitney included.
There’s no greater more selfless human being out there today really.
Just breaks my heart seeing the internet flood Dave’s mentions with unfair AI-generated slop like this.
Be better out there internet.
Choose love, ONE time.
And be thankful this good man kept eating & reviewing for the betterment of earth itself.
Without him doing that I’d certainly be face down in a drained pool somewhere.
Thank YOU Dave Portnoy!
