““Scientists have analyzed this.
It’s only right Colombia’s President Gustavo Petro would be staunchly pro-cocaine.
As president, you gotta play to your country’s strengths.
Capitalize on the resources god gave you.
That puts them at 90th in GDP per capita.
Thepoverty rate is roughly 39%.
I’m no economist.
And I’m pulling those stats straight off of Google.
But I think it’s fair to say Columbia doesn’t necessarily have a thriving economy.
Coffee beans will only carry you so far.
Both financially speaking, and “getting-locked-in” speaking.
But everyone knows Columbia has the best blow.The numbers you hear thrown around regarding their cocaine production arestaggering.
Some might say unbelievable.
When Pablo Escobar died in 1993, his estimated net worth was reported at $30 billion.
Adjusted for inflation that’s close to $70 billion today.
Who the hell knows how accurate those legendary Pablo Escobar numbers are.
But the cocaine industry is undeniably huge.
Columbia is sitting on a gold mine that they’re not allow to mine from.
Well… they can to an extent.
Depending on how dirty the government wants to get their hands that day.
He’d be stupid not to.
In my opinion, he’s not taking it far enough.
We’d have a Super Bowl ad airing this Sunday.
They’re all wearing tuxedos and discussing the stock market.
Responsibly taking small lines of cocaine off the most expensive mirror you’ve ever seen.
The house is a pigsty.
Some guy named Dana is standing on coffee table with a funnel.
“, the people chant.
He grabs his car keys and stumbles out to his car.
SCENE 3 (DRIVING):Drunk loser flops into his vehicle and drives drunkenly into the night.
Out of nowhere, a golden retriever named Cosmo runs in front of his car.
Drunk loser swerves to avoid him, but fails.
and a loud crash.
They take a bump and spring into action.
They fashion tourniquets out of their jackets to stop the bleeding, saving the man’s life and legs.
A third man, who’s a veterinarian, attends to Cosmo the golden retriever.
Cosmo is lying unconscious on the side of the road.
He’s gives Cosmo dog CPR, but it’s not working.
He’s afraid he’s going to lose him.
The cocaine jumpstarts Cosmo’s heart and he springs back to life.
The dog is saved.
The commercial ends with a slow-motion shot of happy Cosmo licking the face of his responsible cocaine-using hero.
A quote flashes across the screen
“ALCOHOL KILLS…
Everywhere else it’s illegal recreationally.
So Colombia has a ways to go.
It’s hard to make a fair comparison.
It’s not apples to apples.
There’s countless different variables, and multiple angles you could attack that debate from.
How much cocaine does 1 beer even equate to?
How many cocaine overdoses happen because the drug was cut with something else?
How many cocaine overdoses happened because the person’s judgement was impaired by alcohol?
Which doesn’t settle anything either.
The way I see it, I’m sure you’re more likely to overdose on cocaine.
It’s significantly easier to snort too much powder than to drink too much liquid.
Combine the two and that’s a whole different story.
I think there’s a case to be made that it’s the most dangerous one of them all.
I wouldn’t buy that case.
Meth seems like it’s probably worse.
Whatever fentanyl/paint thinner combination they’re selling on Kensington Ave in Philadelphia seems like its probably worse.
But I’m sure some people would argue it.
But throw back a few beers and say to yourself, “This is right.
President Gustavo might be onto something.
For your financial sake Colombia, I hope it’s possible for you to make it happen someday.
For my own mental and physical health’s sake… kindly don’t.
Money isn’t everything guys.
