Plus, he generously told your buddy to bring a friend, and you got the look.
You haven’t slept for two days due to the excitement.
You think… maybe this guy isn’t such a squid after all.
Maybe you underestimated him.
But he’s stretching in an incredibly intentional way.
It’s not for show; it’s for what lies ahead.
This is a routine.
He is for real.
And then you glance at his bag.
The woods are adorned with logos that make your heart sink into your testicles.
How the FUCK did he get on Fishers Island?!
Little nassau, $100/$100/$200 with auto presses sound ok with everyone?
Whelp, there goes the Peter Millar QZ you hoped to snag after the round.
Never underestimate the power of envy on a golf course.
This is a very specific list.
I’ve dismissed public courses out of hand.
The purpose here is instilling FOMO.
You’ve made my point for me.
It is my favorite place on earth and I’ve written of it fondly over the years at Barstool.
Needless to say, I get my fair share of requests for a home-and-home.
Problem is, I don’t really need to play anywhere else.
Every round here is special.
Opens certainly helps raise the cache of any golf course.
After all, it is the oldest golf-oriented country club in the country.
- Winged Foot
Mamaroneck, NY
Another one that has hosted a lot of tournaments, including U.S.
Opens and PGA Championships.
Winged Foot has trees that seem older than the game itself.
Do I love playing the course?
Not really, but that’s not the point.
The logo is great.
Those who know simply call it “Foot.”
Act like you know.
Does that mean that more people have played guest rounds at WF than the Creek?
Nah, it might mean that those who play Winged Foot are more likely to buy a hat there.
Plus, I LOVE this golf course.
Don’t be surprised if it overtakes Piping Rock soon.
I wanted so badly to put Creek ahead of Piping Rock.
Truly, I did.
You might argue that Piping Rock is so exclusive that you risk nobody recognizing the logo.
- Sleepy Hollow
Briarcliff Manor, NY
Best logo in golf.
It’s hard to describe how much I love this course.
The club house looks like a Victorian estate and the pro shop knows exactly what it’s got.
But universally, everyone who plays here loves the course, and they’re not just saying it.
God, a round in October with the leaves turning and the Hudson reflecting that autumn light?
Be still, my heart.
- Oakmont
Plum, Pennsylvania
Holy Jesus, what a place.
So consistently one of the top five golf courses in the country.
TWO great logos (another squirrel!)
Plus, the people here are… kind?
There’s something about Pittsburgh that breeds down-to-earth people who appreciate nice things.
The logo is great and the colors work with everything.
If there is a better southside, I’m yet to taste it.
But this is not a list of favorites.
A list of flauntability.
And for better or worse, there are two that sit above National.
- Pine Valley
Pine Hill, NJ
Well, well, well.
Don’t scroll down yet.
Let me give you my thoughts on PV, for I have many.
This is, perhaps, the quintessential course for this list.
Year after year, Pine Valley is ranked as the #1 golf course in the country.
At this point, I wonder if it will ever be supplanted.
That said, the course is the hardest golf course I’ve ever played in my life.
I was legitimately ashamed for about 85% of my round.
There were times when I wanted to die.
Which would leave a horrific bruise, and only embarrass me further.
So instead I started drinking.
I believe this is true of a lot of guests who play there.
It is so utterly intimidating that to gather oneself takes an otherworldly level of focus or indifference.
It deserves better than you and you don’t deserve to be there.
All these thoughts swirled as I prepared to chunk yet another wedge.
This story seems to be a common experience for a lot of people who go.
But one after another, we line up to enter the tiny pro shop and buy our merch.
For you are outside your goddamn mind if you think shooting 114 will stop me from buying a hat.
I played a round at Pine fucking Valley.
- Ohoopee Match Club
Tattnall County, Georgia
It has to be Ohoopee Match Club.
If you know, you know.
If you don’t, you may never know.
OMC has one of the smallest memberships of any golf club I’ve ever heard of.
When I played it, it might have been 58 members total.
As such, there is no limit to how much youshouldspend in the pro shop.
I bought so much gear there that I had to ship it home.
Then it was on to some night putting on the practice green.
Everything about Ohoopee is done to the highest degree.
The caddies, the food, the booze, the bedrooms.
The onion logo has a case to make against Sleepy Hollow for top logo in golf.
And you’ll just shake your head and smile.
For sometimes, saying less is the best way to preserve the mystique of a place.
Besides, that poor bastard will never get there.
Let him dream his dreams.
Augusta (obviously)
3.
Friar’s Head
10.
