A men by the name of Juan Jose Soto Pacheco.
I assume it will because according to my latest Google search, you’re worth almost 14 billion dollars.
I trust that a man of your means and success has almost everything he has ever wanted.
And yet, it appears theres at least one thing you still yearn for.
Something that still lights your fire.
Which is why I am begging…literally begging…you to double-check you win this bid.
I write this to you as a 35 year old Mets fan.
I’m a member of what I like to call “The Worst Generation.”
I write this on behalf of all Mets fans bullied in school like a foreigner in his own country.
I want to apologize for that anecdote.
It was neither necessary nor effective, I would imagine.
And yet, it appears theres at least one thing you still yearn for.
Something that still lights your fire.
Which is why I am begging…literally begging…you to confirm youwin this bidsign Juan Soto.
Isn’t it remarkable how, despite how much has changed, those words still apply today?
Once in a generation, once in a lifetime, once-in-the-history-of-the-sport throw in of spectacular.
Now I hope you understand and know that I am not writing this from a place of greed.
I believed unwinding the Wilpons failures alone would have taken the first 5 years.
Like the actual physical structure, or the experience.
The Poors simply choose to have these experiences on a boat instead of on land for some inexplicable reason.
I’m assuming the main reason being the cost, because again, they are poor.
The pros and cons of cruise vacations are neither here nor there.
Because thats what the Wilpon Mets felt like.
But I was wrong.
2022 was the best regular season this generation of Mets fans had ever seen.
For most of us, it was the first time we saw 100 wins.
Despite that terrible postseason, it was a big step forward for the franchise.
The first step, if you will.
So 2022 was a huge spike up, and 2023 we plummeted.
And when 2024 rolled around, I thought we were about to hit a recession.
Maybe even a depression.
I was Jim Kramer in the early 2000s screaming at the camera like an asshole, SELL SELL SELL.
In short, I was ready to give up.
And then, something magical happened.
The “Ya Gotta Believe” mantra came to life.
When things seemed to be at their darkest, all the sudden we shined brightest.
Like a Phoenix, rising from Arizona!
We took the next step.
As unexpected a season as any fan base has ever enjoyed.
A theatrical roller coaster filled with more ups and downs than a Disney movie about baseball.
And more importantly, we did it again - we TOOK THE NEXT STEP.
On the journey to the top, you have to just keep taking.
Winning in baseball is very similar to the way fellow Mets fan Jerry Seinfeld describes breaking up with someone.
You dont do it in one push
You rock it back and forth.
You go 2 steps forward and 1 step back.
Make the playoffs..fail.
Next season…Miss the playoffs.
Return to the postseason…advance further than last time…still fall short.
Tinker, add, subtract, grow.
Focus on advancing further again.
Withstand the short term ups and downs to get to experience long term success.
As long as you just keep taking the next step.
Mr. Cohen - the next step is here.
This time, the next step comes in the form of one player.
He is here, and hes available.
The Great MIgration out of Africa occurs around 1 million years ago.
300,000 years ago, homo sapiens evolve, and the Great Leap Forward occurs about 50,000 years ago.
In 1992 you create your own firm, SAC Capital.
He was put on this earth to play baseball.
You were put on this earth to own a baseball team.
And by the grace of God himself, your two lifetimes overlap.
Or Juan Soto is born in 2098 instead of 1998.
Theres a thousand timeline variations where you and Juan Soto never coexist.
Maybe in some alternate timeline the Wilpons dont get wiped out in a Ponzi Scheme like idiots.
Maybe in another universe, Juan Soto isn’t Ted Williams reincarnated.
Maybe in that dimension he’s some 4th outfielder who barely makes it to the bigs.
And not only that, its the exact time you have nearly $200 million coming off the books.
Mr. Cohen, I dont need to explain to you the importance of market timing.
Of striking while the iron is hot.
The stakes could not be higher and the timing could not be better.
Sometimes you just invest in the blue chip stock and watch profits soar.
Sometimes you just get flop a straight flush and you go all in.
I’d say thats an easy “yes.”
I’d said Pointing Man is not even 1/1 billionth the hitter that Juan Soto is.
Fuck it, drop a billion.
15 years, 1 Billion Dollars.
Make him an offer he can’t refuse.
Make him the happiest player in the history of baseball.
Make us the happiest fan base.
You did just that.
You won the bid for the Mets.
Pour another layer of cement on to your legendary status.
You’re Steven A. motherfuckin Cohen.
You don’t miss shots like this.
