A tradition that I’m pretty sure people are still expected to abide by to this day.
At least in some circles.
When a golfer hits a hole-in-one, he’s expected to buy drinks for the entire clubhouse.
People were besides themselves with anger that Riggs counted this as a hole-in-one at all.
Which I understand to an extent.
But that’s aside the point.
Riggs claimed hole-in-one, therefore was obligated to buy drinks for the entire clubhouse at Bandon Dunes.
I’m not crying for Riggs over that.
He seems to be in an OK place financially.
But how could that have ever become a tradition?
That you’re able to do something good, and be rewarded with an enormous bill.
That’s the opposite of how it should be.
You just had a once-in-a-lifetime achievement.
If anybody should be getting free drinks it’s you.
I know most people who hit hole-in-one’s aren’t pressured to follow through with this.
But there was a time that rule nearly fucked my dad over in a pretty significant way.
Somewhere he never would have paid out of pocket to play.
It was a whole to-do.
He had a caddy and everything.
Anyways, he hit a shot on a par 3 that ended up about a half-inch from the hole.
He essentially would have been expected to throw an all-night long party at the country club.
I think buying people gifts was expected.
We’re talking tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage.
It may have even been a hundred thousand.
Apparently that’s how they do things at this ritzy Chinese country club.
As I understand it, people in China take being disrespected pretty seriously.
I mean that could have been a pretty fucked up situation.
All because he nearly played golf too well.
That’s such backwards rule.
Here are other traditions and rules in sports that are stupid.
Unwritten Rules of Baseball
In particular, there are two unwritten rules of baseball that are truly absurd.
The first is, “you’re able to’t Bunt to Break-Up a No-Hitter”.
They’re no longer allowed to try their hardest.
People will claim it’s not about that, but that’s what’s happening.
There shouldn’t be any way to get on base that is considered “cheap”.
I can sort of understand it in a blowout.
But even in a blowout, players should be allowed to try.
The batters are trying to keep their jobs.
They need to hit a certain average to keep their jobs.
They think the defense should be able to play back, and just not worry about bunts at all.
Piggybacking off that, there’s another unwritten rule that’s even crazier.
It’s straight up dangerous.
They are also entitled to do so with any player who celebrates a home run too aggressively.
I think we’ve dialed back on that one a bit.
Now it’s more like 95 mph at the batters back.
That is not a punishment fitting of the crime.
That’s not an eye-for-an-eye.
This would not be a reasonable reaction to someone pimping a home run.
Let Dusty Baker dress like an adult.
I think that’s dumb.
Maybe they’re helpful when it comes to reporting on injuries?
It’s comical, really.
What’s the message to your guys at halftime?
If we can do that, we’ll be fine."
“Thanks coach.”
Automatic First Downs
Moving on the “dumb sports rules” portion of this blog.
There are a ton of football penalties I could point at and poke holes in.
Questionable pass interference calls downfield in the NFL that result in a 40 yard penalties are ridiculous.
In general, the fact that there aren’t more varying levels of personal foul/unsportsmanlike conduct penalties is dumb.
They shouldn’t give automatic first downs on all 15-yard penalties.
The exact same penalty should not hurt a defense worse depending on what the down and distance is.
To me, that’s not right.
If 15 yards puts the offense past the first down marker, then give it them.
I don’t necessarily know the intricacies of the sport.
Fundamentally, that should not be how basketball is played.
It slows down the game, and it stinks out loud.
They would be stupid to not take advantage.
I find it bananas how the world of basketball has grown to accept it as part of the game.
It’s like people are too close to see how ridiculous it is.
Charging get a little ridiculous as well, but I can’t live with that.
It doesn’t look right.
It also slows down the game to an annoying extent.
Deciding a game with them does not make sense.
Breakaways happen frequently during games.
It’s a fair fight between goalie and shooter.
But overtime is already stripped down to 3-on-3.
3-on-3 hockey will only go on for so long until someone scores.
No players are being endangered by playing out 3-on-3 OT until a goal is scored.
But the penalty shot itself is such a crap shoot.
There’s so much luck involved.
Games where penalties shots are even possible are so few and far between anyways.
I’m pretty sure they only happen in knockout round games of international tournaments.
Honestly, one of those games going six hours every now and then would rule.
Or remove goalies from the equation entirely.
That could be interesting.
But the fact that the World Cup final can be decided by penalty kicks is nuts.
Fans Singing Sweet Caroline
There are infinitely too many teams who claim Sweet Caroline as their song.
I don’t know who sang first.
They seem to be the oldest franchise who claims it.
I specifically remember overhearing a conversation about how another school stole “Sweet Caroline” from us.
My point is… be more original teams.
Someday I hope a player decides to outrun him.
But I like how it allows games to end on an offensive rush.
My apologies, that went on way longer than I expected.
I could keep going too.
Or bringing up when teams weaponize God.
Does God just hate the other team then?
Are you saying you’re a better Christian than I am?
What the heck man.
Ok sorry I have to stop somewhere.
Thank you for letting me vent.
