Who is Jordan Love? Going into this year he was kinda whoever you wanted him to be. It was all subjective based around the narrative your heart desired. 1st half 2023 Jordan Love was a mess. He looked like a rookie way in over his head. LaFleur didn’t even feel comfortable calling aggressive plays because the trust wasn’t there. Then in the 2nd half you’d have a hard time finding any QB who played better than him....

I would’ve been like Eugene Levy walking into the kitchen and catching Jimbo nuts-deep into an apple pie. It was best for all involved to just have Mark Sanchez and his man bun handle it. –Where do we even begin dissecting this corpse? Let’s start 4,600 years ago. The Great Pyramid of Giza was built around 2,600 BC. It’s 481 feet high. But it’s true majesty is in its science....

Now this is exactly what you gotta do when people are shitting on you. When you are also in on the joke it isn’t as funny for the fans to do it.

Compared to what we were given with the NFL shows, it was a disaster. Fake text trends in 2024? I’m not sure who approved that promo but that person might be blind. Inject them all right into my veins. It’s one of the best parts of media in 2024 if you ask me. Players making their own docs, filmmakers giving us docs/series about prior legends, it’s all fantastic. So while it’s certainly not surprising, consider me back to being all in on ‘Starting 5’....

The NFL is truly one of a kind; narratives are born and killed on a week-to-week basis. Take the Giants, for example. Fast forward to this week, and they go into Seattle and win the game outright. Thats why theyre off my shit listfor now. The shit list is a week-to-week thing, and you never know whos moving up or down. So, without further ado, here are my Week 5 shit rankings....

NFL Week 5 and we start with fastest 2 minutes.

I talked about it extensivelyhereand againhereif you want to get caught up. Basic point is that outsiders are severely underrating the robust culture building going on at Soldier Field. Obviously I’m an Eberflus guy but that’s without combing the data. My trust in him required no simulations/calculations or even general statistics. Some times you just look at a guy and know He gets it. You stack those kind of performances then you really start to initiate the door for Caleb Williams continued emergence....

Raw Dogging Uptown in Chicago Some Video Shot by Mikey Bets Edited by Chris Armienti Buy the Classic Shirt

He decided to go in and noticed a bar full of people that seemed very relaxed. They then asked him to do some “life changing” piano therapy. Being susceptible to peer pressure, he obliged in a video we won’t soon forget. He did say it was very relaxing. But the homeless man who was tickling the ivories didn’t even get a tip out of him! On today’s show we also explored if porn and masturbation was a bit too easy nowadays....

You know what they say: winning cures everything! It feels damn good to be back in the win column. In the past three weeks, Ive watched Skylar Thompson, Tim Boyle, and Snoop Huntley play quarterback. During that span, Ive seen the Dolphins score a grand total of TWO touchdowns. So, you’re able to bet your ass Im feeling pretty great this Monday morning. Now look, Im not going to blow smoke up your assor my own, for that matter....

It’s a boring Monday at Barstool HQ. How many times do we see journalists have Wikipedias about their feud?

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On the other hand, it’s Tito and that word alone represents the consummate Baseball Guy. One year on the sidelines was more than enough to spread the proverbial rash. And now he’s itching/scratching (?) it in Cincinnati - quite literally the home to professional baseball. In that role, Tito made his press conference debut today and had some awesome Tito moments. But first a note on Cincinnati being home to professional baseball....